A Stroll Along the Prom

Our New Year’s Day family dog walk did not go to plan whatsoever! We took 4 out of 5 kids out with the dog. What could possibly go wrong?! πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ Well It was meltdown after meltdown but hey at least we tried. 😩😭🀯πŸ˜₯πŸ‘

Along the local Seafront 🌊 βš“οΈ we wander and so it begins πŸ™ˆ …….The TornadoπŸŒͺ has spotted the fountain ⛲️ far in the distance. He starts frantically pushing us in that direction. Damn it…..he had clearly remembered frolicking around in that same water fountain back in the summertime! Well that was it. He is still pretty much non-verbal (bar the odd word) He couldn’t understand why we weren’t able to go and get soggy again πŸ’¦. We try to attract his attention to a football and a kick about on the field but to no avail. Nope he wanted to go play in the flipping water. Bless him, he doesn’t know it’s minus 4 and bloody freezing ❄️ !! He is not taking no for an answer and keeps dragging us back towards it. BOOM! Meltdown number 1 is now in full swing. 😩

Next Bam Bam wanted a piece of the action (figure of speech of course he didn’t actually WANT to feel like this) πŸ™ƒ He had an almighty, inconsolable meltdown cause we tried to stop him running off in the opposite direction to where we were headed…..We thwarted his many attempts at a sprint away and had to admit defeat in the end and rugby tackled him back into the pushchair. Again the understanding is just not there yet, poor boy 😞 He goes on kicking and screaming for about 20mins, did his usual Houdini twist and got out of the pushchair harness several times ….FFS this is REALLY not going to plan. 😳

I’m beginning to wish we hadn’t spent 3 hours preparing to leave the house and maybe we should have just stayed in and watched The Sound Of Music (one of my faves) πŸŽΌβ›°

We try to divert any further attention from the public, we go to the chippy nearby. One of the bigger boys thinks he’s a joker and turns the shop sign to closed and people are actually reading it and walking off πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ Cheeky Git!! Panic stations there are no battered sausages left in the chippy ……Well that’s just fucking fantastic! Cue enormous meltdown number 2 from our Tornado πŸŒͺ. The importance of the battered sausage is imperative …. he is a very picky eater he basically only eats sausages, choc chip brioche, noodles and yoghurt, not a lot else. As many autistic people do, he has a real sensory issue with food.

“RIGHT enough is enough, Abandon family walk. I repeat abandon the family dog walk. It’s clearly not happening today πŸ™ˆ Get back to the minibus pronto” 🚌.

We pop to Tesco on the way home where I stay in the van with the kiddies and hubby pops in for supplies. Bam Bam is worn out and snoozing 😴 now and Tornado πŸŒͺ is a little fraught but a lot calmer now. Just randomly bashing his head on into my phone occasionally, cause it didn’t do what he wanted. I’m just sat in Tescos carpark in the middle of my van ….yodelling with Princess Pebbles

High on a hill was a lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

I’m not crazy honest …we make our own fun and she was happily joining in (well sort of)! I’m quite animated with my singing and really get into it. Think passerby’s may have thought I had a screw loose but who cares? πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈπŸ˜†

Finally we arrive back home and Bam Bam wakes up removes ALL his clothes (another sensory thing) and commenced running and spinning round the lounge butt naked! πŸ‘ He doesn’t like clothes on him very much at all 😳 Would be ok if he was potty trained πŸ’¦πŸš½πŸ’©πŸ˜† Ah well at least he’s happy now 😊.

Tornado πŸŒͺ has also chilled his boots now and is watching Mario videos on repeat and Princess Pebbles πŸ‘ΈπŸ» is climbing the furniture like it’s her mission In life! I send Daddy Maddog off for a swift pint and the raffle I think he needs it after our stressful hour out!

Things other family’s take for granted are sometimes not so easy for us! A simple walk along the seafront turned into a chaotic sequence of events but it’s all good in the end. Anyway no use dwelling on it we draw a line under it and try again another day 😊.

Not much point to this post, other than me needing an outlet to write down how manic our life can be, trying to do ”normal family stuff. I guess we shouldn’t expect anything other than madness with my lot. After all we are far from normal πŸ€ͺ We are definitely not your average family ……

Till my next rant

Love L 😘 x

Calm After the Storm

The Meltdown

The sadder side of autism is the frustration and lack of understanding of their own feelings and emotions. Ladies and gentlemen we have the extreme meltdown. Not just a naughty child just having a paddy. I’m talking an uncontrollable meltdown of epic proportions!! 😩

It is a barrage of pent up emotions all fizzed up inside and exploding like fireworks, screaming 10 x as loud but not as pretty.

I watched as the meltdown unfolded….it emerged from the depths of my child almost out of nowhere. All of a sudden BOOM! ✴️ It explodes and Woah Mumma ….this one is a right corker! I am holding back the tears trying to regain some control but I can’t. After an hour of this, with no sign of relenting, I am pushed to the brink of insanity telling myself β€œIt’ll all be good, just give him time to get through it”. However It’s too late for cuddles, distractions, songs, funny anecdotes and silly faces etc. These methods sometimes work to nip It in the bud before it reaches a crescendo. Not this time, it’s too far gone for that. The boy is in full throttle with an huge emotional outburst he and I are not quite sure how to deal with it…..We are at the point of no return and there’s no looking back.😭

The screaming squawking, self harming, head butting, scratching and lashing out is heart wrenching to experience and all I can do is try and keep him safe. Sometimes I get caught in the backlash maybe a slap to the face or a punch but I don’t mind, it’s not intentional or malicious and the priority is his safety and welfare.

The expression on his face is pure sadness, pain and frustration. The emotional turmoil he is in upsets me more than words can explain. I can’t help him, I can’t stop these feelings upsetting him…he is immersed within this unpleasant whirlwind and doesn’t know how to cope 😒. All I can do is just be there beside him, not too close yet not leaving him completely alone … just there. ❀️ We simply have to ride out the storm together and wait for calm or exhaustion (whichever comes first)

The Aftermath

Now a few hours later I watch him sleep. My beautiful boy, so peaceful after the awful happenings of earlier. Luckily he will wake up and not remember a thing about this. He will carry on being his normal happy, cheeky self, so that is some blessing.

I’m shattered and keep getting flashbacks of how distressing this particular episode was for all BUT we survived and came out the other side as we always do. x πŸ’™πŸ’ͺ🏻😒😊 #autism #asd #awareness #motherslove #wearestrong #warriors #meltdown #nonverbal #feelings #parenting #blogger #sensoryoverload

School Run with the Madden’s πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Honestly you could not make this shit up!

The morning school run is most definitely NOT my favourite part of the day! In fact the sheer thought of piling 5 kids in the van send shivers right down my spine.

From the outside it could be seen as a comedy sketch, from the inside I sometimes just want the ground to swallow me up and ball my eyes out (which sometimes does happen). But instead, you lucky people get the pleasure of my ranting blog post!! πŸ€ͺ

So if you’ve not got bored yet here’s how our typical morning went…….

The big ones have had me in tears 😭 today, trying to get them ready and off to school!

We’ve had tantrums, meltdowns, squabbles and fisticuffs all before having our weetabix. FML πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

The older boys really do not like mornings (which I do kinda get if truth be told). After calling them every 10 mins for an hour since 7am. They finally rise from the pit they call their bedroom. They both have their duvets wrapped around them and sulking about being woken up too early. It’s now gone 8am and one is telling me how unfair life is and how he hates school. To be fair he does struggle with anxiety, so I do understand when he’s having trouble coping. The social pressures of senior school are very real 😞.

However today it was those lovely teen hormones showing themselves and the boys were just literally niggling at each other and me!!

The night before I lay out everyone’s clothes shoes bags even down to underwear and deodorant, hair gel etc all ready to go in the morning.

It doesn’t matter if we get up at 6.30am or 8.30am We are still ALWAYS FUCKING LATE. 😩

The babies are no real problem in the mornings (as yet anyways) they just go from cot into the minbus in their pjs with a bottle. The Tornado πŸŒͺ is starting to play hard ballΒ In the mornings though running away, out the front door faster than a lightening bolt. He thinks it’s hilarious to play chase when we’re late but he knows no different. Being non verbal, he has no real understanding of why we are rushing in the morning. It’s all a big game to him.

So we finally get everyone outside and Tommy is pulling a refusal to get in the van. I have to carry him kicking and screaming and fold him into the car seat. I try to distract him with a random song, a tickle or counting game whilst i secure him with the belt swiftly. His arms escape the harness numerous times…..Phew I’m really working up a sweat now!

Were on the move (albeit 45 mins late) and the stimming starts. Repetitive noises/phrases and shrill high pitch sounds come from both the big boys, It’s a coping mechanism for them. As were stuck at traffic lights they shout out random remarks to passing cars with their windows down! Nothing rude thank god! πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™€οΈ

Finally we approach the school car park. Watch out, The Madden’s have entered the building!

And…… I can breath! We made it πŸ€ͺπŸŽ‰β˜•οΈπŸ˜Š

There is always some drama in our life each day but all I’ll say is “Better Late Than Never” I’m actually surprised we even get out the front door to be honest! 🀣

Rant over and out ….. once again thanks for reading!

Love L x😊