A Stroll Along the Prom

Our New Year’s Day family dog walk did not go to plan whatsoever! We took 4 out of 5 kids out with the dog. What could possibly go wrong?! ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ Well It was meltdown after meltdown but hey at least we tried. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ‘

Along the local Seafront ๐ŸŒŠ โš“๏ธ we wander and so it begins ๐Ÿ™ˆ …….The Tornado๐ŸŒช has spotted the fountain โ›ฒ๏ธ far in the distance. He starts frantically pushing us in that direction. Damn it…..he had clearly remembered frolicking around in that same water fountain back in the summertime! Well that was it. He is still pretty much non-verbal (bar the odd word) He couldn’t understand why we weren’t able to go and get soggy again ๐Ÿ’ฆ. We try to attract his attention to a football and a kick about on the field but to no avail. Nope he wanted to go play in the flipping water. Bless him, he doesn’t know it’s minus 4 and bloody freezing โ„๏ธ !! He is not taking no for an answer and keeps dragging us back towards it. BOOM! Meltdown number 1 is now in full swing. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

Next Bam Bam wanted a piece of the action (figure of speech of course he didn’t actually WANT to feel like this) ๐Ÿ™ƒ He had an almighty, inconsolable meltdown cause we tried to stop him running off in the opposite direction to where we were headed…..We thwarted his many attempts at a sprint away and had to admit defeat in the end and rugby tackled him back into the pushchair. Again the understanding is just not there yet, poor boy ๐Ÿ˜ž He goes on kicking and screaming for about 20mins, did his usual Houdini twist and got out of the pushchair harness several times ….FFS this is REALLY not going to plan. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

I’m beginning to wish we hadn’t spent 3 hours preparing to leave the house and maybe we should have just stayed in and watched The Sound Of Music (one of my faves) ๐ŸŽผโ›ฐ

We try to divert any further attention from the public, we go to the chippy nearby. One of the bigger boys thinks he’s a joker and turns the shop sign to closed and people are actually reading it and walking off ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ Cheeky Git!! Panic stations there are no battered sausages left in the chippy ……Well that’s just fucking fantastic! Cue enormous meltdown number 2 from our Tornado ๐ŸŒช. The importance of the battered sausage is imperative …. he is a very picky eater he basically only eats sausages, choc chip brioche, noodles and yoghurt, not a lot else. As many autistic people do, he has a real sensory issue with food.

“RIGHT enough is enough, Abandon family walk. I repeat abandon the family dog walk. It’s clearly not happening today ๐Ÿ™ˆ Get back to the minibus pronto” ๐ŸšŒ.

We pop to Tesco on the way home where I stay in the van with the kiddies and hubby pops in for supplies. Bam Bam is worn out and snoozing ๐Ÿ˜ด now and Tornado ๐ŸŒช is a little fraught but a lot calmer now. Just randomly bashing his head on into my phone occasionally, cause it didn’t do what he wanted. I’m just sat in Tescos carpark in the middle of my van ….yodelling with Princess Pebbles

High on a hill was a lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

I’m not crazy honest …we make our own fun and she was happily joining in (well sort of)! I’m quite animated with my singing and really get into it. Think passerby’s may have thought I had a screw loose but who cares? ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜†

Finally we arrive back home and Bam Bam wakes up removes ALL his clothes (another sensory thing) and commenced running and spinning round the lounge butt naked! ๐Ÿ‘ He doesn’t like clothes on him very much at all ๐Ÿ˜ณ Would be ok if he was potty trained ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿšฝ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ˜† Ah well at least he’s happy now ๐Ÿ˜Š.

Tornado ๐ŸŒช has also chilled his boots now and is watching Mario videos on repeat and Princess Pebbles ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿป is climbing the furniture like it’s her mission In life! I send Daddy Maddog off for a swift pint and the raffle I think he needs it after our stressful hour out!

Things other family’s take for granted are sometimes not so easy for us! A simple walk along the seafront turned into a chaotic sequence of events but it’s all good in the end. Anyway no use dwelling on it we draw a line under it and try again another day ๐Ÿ˜Š.

Not much point to this post, other than me needing an outlet to write down how manic our life can be, trying to do ”normal family stuff. I guess we shouldn’t expect anything other than madness with my lot. After all we are far from normal ๐Ÿคช We are definitely not your average family ……

Till my next rant

Love L ๐Ÿ˜˜ x

Calm After the Storm

The Meltdown

The sadder side of autism is the frustration and lack of understanding of their own feelings and emotions. Ladies and gentlemen we have the extreme meltdown. Not just a naughty child just having a paddy. Iโ€™m talking an uncontrollable meltdown of epic proportions!! ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

It is a barrage of pent up emotions all fizzed up inside and exploding like fireworks, screaming 10 x as loud but not as pretty.

I watched as the meltdown unfolded….it emerged from the depths of my child almost out of nowhere. All of a sudden BOOM! โœด๏ธ It explodes and Woah Mumma ….this one is a right corker! I am holding back the tears trying to regain some control but I canโ€™t. After an hour of this, with no sign of relenting, I am pushed to the brink of insanity telling myself โ€œItโ€™ll all be good, just give him time to get through itโ€. However Itโ€™s too late for cuddles, distractions, songs, funny anecdotes and silly faces etc. These methods sometimes work to nip It in the bud before it reaches a crescendo. Not this time, itโ€™s too far gone for that. The boy is in full throttle with an huge emotional outburst he and I are not quite sure how to deal with it…..We are at the point of no return and thereโ€™s no looking back.๐Ÿ˜ญ

The screaming squawking, self harming, head butting, scratching and lashing out is heart wrenching to experience and all I can do is try and keep him safe. Sometimes I get caught in the backlash maybe a slap to the face or a punch but I don’t mind, it’s not intentional or malicious and the priority is his safety and welfare.

The expression on his face is pure sadness, pain and frustration. The emotional turmoil he is in upsets me more than words can explain. I canโ€™t help him, I canโ€™t stop these feelings upsetting him…he is immersed within this unpleasant whirlwind and doesnโ€™t know how to cope ๐Ÿ˜ข. All I can do is just be there beside him, not too close yet not leaving him completely alone … just there. โค๏ธ We simply have to ride out the storm together and wait for calm or exhaustion (whichever comes first)

The Aftermath

Now a few hours later I watch him sleep. My beautiful boy, so peaceful after the awful happenings of earlier. Luckily he will wake up and not remember a thing about this. He will carry on being his normal happy, cheeky self, so that is some blessing.

Iโ€™m shattered and keep getting flashbacks of how distressing this particular episode was for all BUT we survived and came out the other side as we always do. x ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜Š #autism #asd #awareness #motherslove #wearestrong #warriors #meltdown #nonverbal #feelings #parenting #blogger #sensoryoverload

All Aboard the Autism Train

As the days go by it’s looking increasingly likely that I have a 3rd child with Autism/ADHD.

Tornado Tommy is next up to jump on! Buckle up kids you’re in for a rocky ride!

The familiar and sometimes peculiar behaviours he’s displaying is just confirming what we already suspected. We are 99% sure he is on the spectrum.

Tornado Tommy is a proper little character and yet different to the bigger boys in many ways. He is hectic & destructive and never ever sits still (just like his brothers) An average 2 year old can be crazy and hectic but it’s extreme with him.

The mahoosive explosive hour long meltdowns that come out of the blue……he’s completely non-verbal. He used to try and say a handful of words at 18months then just regressed back to zero speech โ˜น๏ธ .

Theย repetitive, obsessional behaviours.

The lashing out in temper and frustration. He hits and kicks me, quite hard (yet unmeaningly) during meltdowns. To gain my attention he might bosh me on the head with the remote a few times if he wants the channel changing. Or he might full on slap me round the chops! ๐Ÿ˜ฎIf I don’t give him my immediate attention.

My older boys never did these things! It’s pretty hard to accept your child beating the shit out of you and just having to calmly smile through gritted teeth and try to diffuse the situation before it escalates! But hey ho we just have to grin and bear it for now. It’s Soooo hard and frustrating for him and us!

Also he has started banging his head repetitively on the floor during a complete meltdown. Any hard surface he can find and his poor head gets it THUMP ๐Ÿค•. This is extremely worrying and heartbreaking to see him in such distress ๐Ÿ˜ข Poor boy!

Tommy plays alternatively lining random objects and toys up everyday. He’s more interested in the chippings at the park than using the equipment and joining in with other kids playing. To name but a few of his ways.

……..So anyway we’re on the pathway for diagnosis but it’s still too early to diagnose officially. Obviously having already been there, done that and got the t-shirt (twice) as seasoned Autism parents we kinda know what we’re dealing with already! ๐Ÿ˜œ

It is obviously is genetic somewhere along the line as 3 out of 5 are autistic so far!

I’m just hoping once the speech comes along some of his impulsive, irrational behaviours will simmer down a bit! ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป

The boy has got bucket loads of character though so I’m sure there will be a few more funny tales (not funny at the time) to tell. ๐ŸคฃWatch this space! Lol.

I obviously was not meant to have an easy life with my lot…. so I have to embrace the madness! If I didn’t I’d be locked in a padded cell, heavily sedated for the rest of my days!! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Normal is way over rated anyways!! Three of our very special boys have this label but each and everyone of them have qualities and personalities that shine above the disability.

YES they are all have their quirks and their behaviour is often unruly and off the scale BUT they are our boys and through thick and thin We will love and protect them always ๐Ÿ˜Š xxx

Don’t forget Autism Awareness day is 2nd April…. Spread the word x