Autism with a side of ADHD (x 5)

Ladies and gentlemen! Blimey it’s been a while!! I had all good intentions of writing more in 2020 but you know, Lockdown got in the way and here we are 5 months later . I thought I’d get my blogging shoes back on again and write a ‘proper’ post.

So where do I even begin to update you on our latest shenanigans?! ๐Ÿค” So much has happened over the past few months.

Ok I’ll Start with Pebbles, who finally got her official autism diagnosis from the Paediatrician. No great surprise there as we had already accepted the fact a while back. Love her ๐Ÿ’• it is very obvious with her that her understanding of the world is very different to others. She is still non verbal at 3 years old apart from the odd word/sound ….. she makes plenty of noise though for a little person ๐Ÿ˜

Bam Bam also received his diagnosis a couple of weeks back. Although he presents quite differently to His sister. He is starting to get a few more words and little phrases but still classed as non verbal. Although His problem solving skills are second to none I tell ya’ He’s just full on 100 miles an hour, following the Tornado about. The two boys are inseparable! I think they will get mistaken for the twins as they get older. ๐Ÿ‘ฌ They look similar and always joined at the hip. ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™

We are still trying to get our heads round the enormity of the fact we have 5 SEN kids. Although we have really known this for a long time, from past experience, we now have the official say so. Moving forward this means we can get them all the early intervention and all help on offer to give them the best start possible in life. ๐Ÿ˜Š

Tornado ๐ŸŒช has just been given a place at an SEN school which is great news. To be honest it took me a little by surprise as I was expecting it to take a very long time to sort, especially due to the COVID-19 situation. But we have now completed the process of swapping from mainstream to a Specialist provision. The place he has got into is brilliant with speech & language on site and sensory room etc I am confident he will come on in leaps and bounds in an environment more suitable to his needs. I’m very sad to leave the old school As they were fantastic with him and did absolutely everything they could to accommodate Him. However we decided although he was doing well at mainstream but would thrive even more at a smaller SEN school. I am over the moon he got in as I really was expecting them to turn us down. After letting it sink in a little, this is going to be the best thing for my boy. I’m sure he will absolutely love it โค๏ธ

Tornado has been attending a SEN playgroup throughout summer where he’s been having a brilliant time enjoying himself ๐Ÿ˜Š . Everywhere he goes he works his magic and they all adore him…. My little loveable rogue ๐Ÿ’™

Tornado ๐ŸŒช

News just in …. The Twinnies have also been given a spot at an SEN nursery (the same place as Tornado). This is HUGE and OMG we are so lucky to have been given this as places are like gold dust. Again, I’m extremely sad to be leaving their current setting as they have been absolutely bloody amazing! I have met some lovely ladies in the staff there who have been superstars. So bittersweet feelings but again it’s gonna make the world of difference to their development. In a more specialised environment they will do brilliantly! โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ˜Š

Although I don’t like change much, moving nursery and school for the 3 little ones is gonna be the best decision.

They say once you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met ONE person with autism and that is exactly true!!

Each and every one of our children are very different to one another. They all fit the criteria to come under the umbrella of autism and tick some of the same boxes. However they present in very different ways in their behaviour. Each unique with their own ways and mannerisms.

Having the whole gang of them diagnosed It has left us questioning if we ourselves are also neuro diverse too? There is clearly a genetic link here. I definitely do believe I would be on that spectrum somewhere, high functioning ASD for sure if I was to go for a diagnosis. Also the ADHD…. I’m pretty hectic myself, over enthusiastic and hardly come up for air when talking (according to the husband)! ๐Ÿ˜† I literally can’t stop talking especially if it’s a passion of mine or one of my excitable, mad cap plans ๐Ÿ˜ณ It’s no secret I’m extremely quirky, anxious, socially awkward and a little bit different to the crowd (a little eccentric sometimes) The more I think about it I’d say I fit the criteria easily. Who wants to conform to ‘normal’ anyway? It’s good to be different โค๏ธ THIS IS ME and I’m definitely one of a kind! Lol ๐Ÿฅฐ

We have learned to embrace the differences that autism brings to our life and just need to live our lives a little differently to most families. We can’t go on photo shoots in a field, trips abroad or theme parks easily. Even a visit to the local beach or park can be stressful and difficult. We have decided to hire some help in some way shape or form to enable us to make some family memories with a little more ease!! Like a nanny or support worker who can lend a hand in getting the tiny tearaways out the house more. You never know, maybe even a holiday?! We’ve never been on holiday together!! Once schools And nursery have settled in we will find someone hopefully willing to take on the challenge. No Nanny McPhee/Mary Poppins need apply but someone who has a good sense of humour. Someone who can fit right in with the madness and not bat an eyelid at some of the craziness that surrounds us! Ha ha! ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿคช I’m sure there is the perfect person out there somewhere.

Anyways that’s all for now folks. Keep up with with our daily antics on our Facebook page or over on Instagram. Guaranteed for a laugh or 2! Be back soon …..

Lots of Love L xx ๐Ÿ˜˜

A Stroll Along the Prom

Our New Year’s Day family dog walk did not go to plan whatsoever! We took 4 out of 5 kids out with the dog. What could possibly go wrong?! ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ Well It was meltdown after meltdown but hey at least we tried. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ‘

Along the local Seafront ๐ŸŒŠ โš“๏ธ we wander and so it begins ๐Ÿ™ˆ …….The Tornado๐ŸŒช has spotted the fountain โ›ฒ๏ธ far in the distance. He starts frantically pushing us in that direction. Damn it…..he had clearly remembered frolicking around in that same water fountain back in the summertime! Well that was it. He is still pretty much non-verbal (bar the odd word) He couldn’t understand why we weren’t able to go and get soggy again ๐Ÿ’ฆ. We try to attract his attention to a football and a kick about on the field but to no avail. Nope he wanted to go play in the flipping water. Bless him, he doesn’t know it’s minus 4 and bloody freezing โ„๏ธ !! He is not taking no for an answer and keeps dragging us back towards it. BOOM! Meltdown number 1 is now in full swing. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

Next Bam Bam wanted a piece of the action (figure of speech of course he didn’t actually WANT to feel like this) ๐Ÿ™ƒ He had an almighty, inconsolable meltdown cause we tried to stop him running off in the opposite direction to where we were headed…..We thwarted his many attempts at a sprint away and had to admit defeat in the end and rugby tackled him back into the pushchair. Again the understanding is just not there yet, poor boy ๐Ÿ˜ž He goes on kicking and screaming for about 20mins, did his usual Houdini twist and got out of the pushchair harness several times ….FFS this is REALLY not going to plan. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

I’m beginning to wish we hadn’t spent 3 hours preparing to leave the house and maybe we should have just stayed in and watched The Sound Of Music (one of my faves) ๐ŸŽผโ›ฐ

We try to divert any further attention from the public, we go to the chippy nearby. One of the bigger boys thinks he’s a joker and turns the shop sign to closed and people are actually reading it and walking off ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ Cheeky Git!! Panic stations there are no battered sausages left in the chippy ……Well that’s just fucking fantastic! Cue enormous meltdown number 2 from our Tornado ๐ŸŒช. The importance of the battered sausage is imperative …. he is a very picky eater he basically only eats sausages, choc chip brioche, noodles and yoghurt, not a lot else. As many autistic people do, he has a real sensory issue with food.

“RIGHT enough is enough, Abandon family walk. I repeat abandon the family dog walk. It’s clearly not happening today ๐Ÿ™ˆ Get back to the minibus pronto” ๐ŸšŒ.

We pop to Tesco on the way home where I stay in the van with the kiddies and hubby pops in for supplies. Bam Bam is worn out and snoozing ๐Ÿ˜ด now and Tornado ๐ŸŒช is a little fraught but a lot calmer now. Just randomly bashing his head on into my phone occasionally, cause it didn’t do what he wanted. I’m just sat in Tescos carpark in the middle of my van ….yodelling with Princess Pebbles

High on a hill was a lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo

I’m not crazy honest …we make our own fun and she was happily joining in (well sort of)! I’m quite animated with my singing and really get into it. Think passerby’s may have thought I had a screw loose but who cares? ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜†

Finally we arrive back home and Bam Bam wakes up removes ALL his clothes (another sensory thing) and commenced running and spinning round the lounge butt naked! ๐Ÿ‘ He doesn’t like clothes on him very much at all ๐Ÿ˜ณ Would be ok if he was potty trained ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿšฝ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿ˜† Ah well at least he’s happy now ๐Ÿ˜Š.

Tornado ๐ŸŒช has also chilled his boots now and is watching Mario videos on repeat and Princess Pebbles ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿป is climbing the furniture like it’s her mission In life! I send Daddy Maddog off for a swift pint and the raffle I think he needs it after our stressful hour out!

Things other family’s take for granted are sometimes not so easy for us! A simple walk along the seafront turned into a chaotic sequence of events but it’s all good in the end. Anyway no use dwelling on it we draw a line under it and try again another day ๐Ÿ˜Š.

Not much point to this post, other than me needing an outlet to write down how manic our life can be, trying to do ”normal family stuff. I guess we shouldn’t expect anything other than madness with my lot. After all we are far from normal ๐Ÿคช We are definitely not your average family ……

Till my next rant

Love L ๐Ÿ˜˜ x

Me, Me, Me Time

Hello Long time no blog ey?! I bet you’ve missed me? Ha ha! I have been keeping You updated with the kids stuff on Facebook but though if I’m gonna call myself a blogger maybe I’d better actually write a proper post!! ๐Ÿ˜„

So this is a little bit different. It’s not all about the kids, as the title suggests it’s All About Me and my crazy antics this time๐Ÿ˜Š Hope you find it amusing ……….

I’ve been spending a little time on myself lately and leaving daddy to deal with the kids! I’ve gotta say he did do a grand job of keeping them alive and no real dramas ๐Ÿ‘ He might moan a lot about being ‘Daddy Daycare’ at the weekends but heโ€™s not all that bad ๐Ÿ˜˜

Here’s some of what I’ve been up to……..

Take That and Party!

So me and me Julie like to go to gigs so we went off to see the lovely Take That in Southampton…. well they most certainly did not disappoint. Had a brilliant night and a good view ๐Ÿ˜ sore throat from belting out their all time greatest hits! We had a fab night until…… the way home we were running late for the last train back to Pompey and of course we managed to get lost ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ. We couldn’t find the train station in the dark and we werenโ€™t even bloody drunk!! We took a short cut to get back and had to go down to street level from a shopping centre. Except all the shops were now closed. We found a Lift in the car park jumped in it and realised we couldnโ€™t get out of the door ๐Ÿ˜ณ. SHIT ๐Ÿ’ฉIt was stuck good and proper. We were already late for the train then the lift doors wouldnโ€™t open further than 2 inches! Kept trying the open door button and it just juddered and creaked barely opening at all. The alarm intercom thingy wasnโ€™t working no answer. We were dehydrated and needed a pee desperately ….Someone had pissed in the corner, which was nice but I was thinking Iโ€™m gonna have to go in a minute too. Panic started to set In. We were stuck in a fucking lift at almost midnight with barely any phone battery left after the concert. We yelled out the small gap โ€œhelp were stuck in the liftโ€ to people in the car park but they ignored us! The next time it opened a crevice I put my hands in and pulled as hard as I could with an almighty hulk like strength ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป. I did it I pulled apart the broken lift door and we made our escape thank fuck!! We somehow made our train too after actually running, almost hyperventilating and pissing our pants (my pelvic floor is not so good these days!) ๐Ÿคฃ

Spice Up Your Life โœŒ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป๐ŸŒŽ

Next Up was Spice girls two weeks later. Love a bit of Girl Power โœŒ๐Ÿป They were really good performing as expected but the whole thing wasn’t amazing! Take That was a better experience (before the lift situation). Mainly because loads more drunk bitches were pushing and shoving past the whole show. Couldnโ€™t see much of the actual spice girls on stage only a glimpse now an again if you strained your neck on tip toes! (I am only 5ft). The atmosphere was amazing though and we sung our hearts out but the really pissed people were very annoying. Weโ€™d had a few vinos but not too many. Then would you believe it …..another drama? ๐Ÿ˜ณ Lol Me and Julie almost got stranded in bloody London couldnโ€™t find the coach park after the show and the stewards all sent us the wrong way ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ We panicked almost crying and collapsing in a heap on the floor! But we managed to pull ourselves together. We ended up walking outside Wembley in a dodgy part of town where the 3rd steward we asked sent us!!

We actually did a full lap around the outside of Wembley. We went back to the actual stadium and finally found the coach park 1/2 hour later!

When we eventually found the coach it was about to drive off back to Pompey without us!! ๐Ÿ˜ณ Iโ€™ve never shit my self so much I tell ya.

Literally Ran for the coach where we got told off and we sheepishly apologised to the others. Luckily the coach park was rammed so gave us extra time! …. honestly could only happen to us!! Stuck in a lift last time and almost stranded this time!! Lol We shouldnโ€™t be allowed out without close supervision lol ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Hula Hooping Race for Life

I decided to sign myself up for the 5k RFL but with did it with my hula hoop along with my lovely friends from Hoopshaker! Iโ€™ve done it before a few times and itโ€™s really good fun. I came out of retirement especially. I havenโ€™t hula hooped for about 4 years properly, what with having 3 babies within 2 years etc. So got back to a couple of classes before hand for practice and had a go in the garden every opportunity I could grab! This Girl’s still got it ๐Ÿ™Œโญ•๏ธ……I’m bit rusty but my child bearing hips are still good at wiggling a hoop ๐Ÿ˜Š The day of the Race was a lovely atmosphere and I met lots of new people.

Life is All About Balance

It’s so nice to do something for myself other than just being mum. As Much as I adore my position as chief ‘Chaos Co-ordinator’ aka Mum I love being part of a social group again. It does wonders for your confidence and breaks up the normality of life just for an hour or 2 a week …. an escape from reality. As good as any therapy session to improve your mental health and wellbeing.

After 2 years of basically just surviving Day by day I feel my life getting back on track now! The baby years have been a bit of a blur really but a nice blur of course.

Iโ€™ve let myself go mentally and physically to be honest, as Iโ€™ve been so concentrated on taking care of the kiddies. Now they are off to nursery and school in September I think things may improve and Iโ€™ll get some sort of balance back in my life! I wouldnโ€™t change a thing about my beautiful babies. I feel ready to take on new challenges now and grab back a piece of me time. After all, I so deserve it!! ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Iโ€™d love to try new things too like Rock choir …. a couple of my friends do this and looks amazing fun (also I could sing without being told to shut up your annoying/embarrassing!) ๐ŸŽค Iโ€™d Love to learn to do tricks/moves on my quad roller skates. Iโ€™ve even been looking at more circus skills like aerial hoop and static trapeze!!! One day maybe? Once I loose about 5 stone lol ๐Ÿคฃ When time allows in the future I might get to try some of these things out. Iโ€™d be so bored going to a gym or running everyday….Iโ€™d like to keep fit doing something different and a little bit crazy just like me๐Ÿ˜œ

Self confidence and making new friends from all walks of life is important to me. Taking up a hobby or two helps me to manage everything I have to deal with for my gorgeous special family. I donโ€™t usually let things grind me down, no matter how hard they get BUT I wouldnโ€™t be human if I said I donโ€™t have days when life IS overwhelming. Some time out can just give you enough breathing space to think calmly before taking on the next day/ with a fresh head and positive mindset. More of this please ๐Ÿ˜ŠPMAโœŒ๐Ÿป

Anyways I know I’m rambling on lots now, something I’m very good at! Lol Thanks for reading…. if you managed the whole post well done you ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™Œ

In the famous words of Shrek “Better out than In I always say” This Works for feelings and farts ๐Ÿ˜†

Lots of Love

L ๐Ÿ˜˜ xxx

Top Travel Tips with kids – Guest Post by Andy

So here’s something a bit different to my usual ranting. A cheeky little guest post written by my brother. Introducing to you the one, the only…..Andy Simpson ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป He’s been through hell and highwater with his kids and is now even more amazing as a single dad of 2. Have a read he’s actually quite funny ๐Ÿคฃ

My holiday experiences and top tips as a single dad with two kids.

I am too old for Magaluf, I donโ€™t feel it but now Iโ€™m pretty sure I look it. Well my kids are much closer to being 18 than I am.

Having everything pre-booked and a plan is awesome until it needs to be changed.

Do not bother telling the kids what you are doing tomorrow (or your hotel room number), they will always need reminding 27 times but itโ€™s nice that they still get excited each time they are told.

To keep the peace between siblings, keep a strict rota on whose turn it is to open the hotel room door and who gets to press the lift buttons.

Kids hate sleep but are always tired.

Suns out, guns out in Spain translates to – there is no minimum clothing requirement and the kids need to know a name for everything hanging out there.

I used to love my kids until I asked them to walk anywhere in a hot country.

Do not offer the kids what they would like to buy from a shop which also sells bouncing booby balls and phallic shaped bottle openers. They will want them!

Spanish passport control has never seen a single dad with two kids on holiday before; my first Spanish lesson was Donde estรก mami? (where is mum?). Translating and signing that one has passed away and the other one fucked off was a bit of a challenge.

Do not tell your kids you think a woman is attractive; they have no problem blurting it out or actually going over to tell them whether their massive boyfriend is there or not.

Little girls need the toilet urgently a lot. In the pool, in the sea and on me (pointing them in the general direction of a urinal is not a good idea and since when do girls pee forwards?).

Applying sun cream to two kids five times a day is a full time job and they are like ultra rare Pokรฉmon – youโ€™ve gotta catch the little buggers first.

Give them some water to play in and they will give you a million memories… and leave you alone for a while.

Whoever said drinking while with kids is wrong? My kids encourage me to drink; apparently drinking (responsibly) makes me Yay! Fun Daddy! And a hangover means Yay! Daddyโ€™s still asleep, more game time!

Reading a bedtime story from memory rather than using a book has led to a very confusing yet highly amusing mash up of Goldilocks and the Three Bears and Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf didnโ€™t eat Granny as she was too hot, the chairs were all far too small so and they all ended up in a very hard bed together surrounded by cold porridge until Little Red was eaten by Goldilocks. Later on I discovered my 12 year old boy decided to google โ€˜what is a gangbang?โ€™

As a dad, singing and dancing in public is no longer fun; since it now embarrasses me more than it does the kids.

Give your kids some independence and they will disappear like magic.

Kids need to know where their games are more than I need to know where the kids are.

After tons of swimming lessons and still showing no improvement, I taught my daughter to swim by putting her in the deep end and told her I will only save her if she shouts very loudly Daddy is the king! 15 minutes later she was an Olympic freestyle champion.

Teaching the kids basic Spanish seemed like a great idea until my boy answered a Scottish family by saying โ€˜no entiendoโ€™ (โ€˜I donโ€™t understandโ€™) โ€˜Je suis Anglaisโ€™ (โ€˜I am Englishโ€™ but in FRENCH!!!).

Answering the question of โ€œwhat is a strip club and why do they offer fully naked stage showsโ€ was easy. Finding some where to leave them while I pop in for a drink was the hard part.

So for any single parents planning on taking their kids on an abroad holiday alone, be prepared and expect the unexpected but I guarantee holidaying with kids alone is a thoroughly entertaining and rewarding experience. Hope you enjoyed!

Life ……oh My life!

Oh hello! ๐Ÿค— Remember me? The little bit insane mother with lots of kids! Lol ๐Ÿคฃ

Long time no rant! So here goes……

Today has been very trying! It’s only 12pm lunchtime and I’ve done 9 nappy changes (including 4 poonamis), 4 outfit changes. 1 pukey throwing up incident.

Annie has been chasing me round crawling at the speed of light โšก๏ธShe’s trying to eat out of the dustpan as quick as I can sweep up! Albert has delved into the sudocreme no less than 6 times today whilst I’m changing the others and has eaten a good handful of it too! He bites the lid off and tucks in like its some kind of yummy treat! ๐Ÿคข

Those of you that follow my social media pages will know this has become quite the obsession with Master Albert! Little git๐Ÿ˜œ.

Albert is a climber…. he climbs the sofa, footstool and is eyeing up the window sill next. This is where big Bro The Tornado spends a lot of his time! Albert can walk with toys in front and swing between the furniture like a boss. He is practicing letting go and standing independently so I think we are gonna be mobile on 2 feet very, very soon ๐Ÿ˜ณ.

Miss Annie isn’t too far behind, she’s a little more wobbly but blimey the girl can get around fast. She can stand at the sofa and she’s not far off cruising. Annie likes to be upside down a lot and she watches tv like it, through her legs. She knows exactly what she wants and she will take it (milk, juice, biscuits, toys) she steels from her brothers and laughs when they cry…..little minx. She’s not daft! ๐Ÿ’–

Then there’s The Tornado ๐ŸŒช Well he’s still hectic as you like ๐Ÿคฃ and he is actually saying a few understandable words like ‘yeah’ , ‘ball’ and ‘up’ . It’s a little random at the moment but it’s progress none the less. He is nearly 3 and non verbal aside from these snippets. It’s gives us a glimmer of hope that his words will come eventually. It’s all very exciting stuff ๐ŸŽ‰chuffed Mumma right here ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Š. I’m sure, He too will be backchatting us in around 10 years time. Lol.

Life with 3 under 3 is far from a boring life that’s for sure and add to that the 2 big boys and their teenage hormones, anxiety and obsessions. ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ More fun than you can shake a stick at! ๐Ÿคฃ

I still love being Mum though, hard as it might be. I’m older, wiser? ๐Ÿค” greyer and wrinklier ๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿป but can still get down with the kids when needed (much to the embarrassment of my eldest)……Yes, I can do The Floss ๐Ÿ˜Ž ha ha!

It’s Half term too so thankfully no bastard school run to do! However it’s not that easy for me to take them all out by my myself. Entertaining 5 kids of varying ages is a challenge but we muddle through as best we can.

The big boys are banned from the X-box right now for being lairy/cheeky so they are driving me up the bloody wall! With cries of “I’m bored” or in Kevin the Teenager style “It’s so unfair when can I go back online” “Never” I reply *stomps off in strop…….Kids ey….Gotta love em ๐Ÿ˜

Well that’s our update on life for now! Nothing too enthralling but there’ll be plenty more tales to tell. Watch this space. I’m Just Trying to find my writing mojo again. It has been pretty full on lately as you can imagine. I’ve had no time to scratch my ass let alone blog! Fingers crossed I’ll find a bit of time here and there to keep you all amused.

Ta-Ta for now

Love L ๐Ÿ˜˜ x

We survived the school holidays …. just!

Yes I know we’re already a week back to school but it’s been hectic!!! Phew! 2 weeks off school with 5 kids has brought me to the edge of insanity BUT we got through it! Lol We’ve had tears and meltdowns (me and them), squabbling, screaming, fisticuffs and to top it off a fractured toddler elbow!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

Whilst other parents post pictures of their perfectly well behaved children doing something wholesome and outdoorsy every day, I’m a prisoner in my own home. Stuck in the house arguing with the big boys that it’s time to vacate their pit and switch the X Box off!!

The Little ones taking it in turns to cry, shit, sleep, repeat! ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Seriously I’m at the end of my tether….. I’m not gonna lie these past few weeks have been bloody hard work!!!

My eldest has become practically aggro-phobic and doesn’t want to leave his safe zone at home. His anxiety has reached new heightened levels so it takes hours of persuasion but we eventually try leaving the house for a walk. Nice bit of fresh air in our lungs ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿถ๐ŸŒฒ๐Ÿƒ However as the end of the hols drew closer we did manage to get The big boys out swimming with dad, to a retro gaming cafe (more computers) lol. We hid a few decorated rocks on our walk to then post on Facebook and re-hid them for others to find …..apparently it’s a new craze. Who knew?! For more info See.Portsmouth Rocks UKFinally I braved it and took all 5 to the inflatables session….. which is basically loads of bouncy castles indoors and 30 odd kids running riot! Fun times ๐Ÿ‘

So they did get out and do and few activities eventually.

In other news the twins are teething big time and I am seriously sleep deprived. Getting roughly 3-4 hours sleep a night is not really sufficient to survive ๐Ÿ˜ด Tommy has literally been beating me up out of frustration daily and sometimes quite violently โ˜น๏ธ and in between cuddles But I grin and bear it, heartbreaking as it is. Poor me!

On Thursday the Tornado fell off the sofa (climbing again) so a 10pm little trip to the local treatment centre was in order. We thought he’d popped his elbow out if it’s joint again ….so they clicked it back into place. However this time something wasn’t right, he still couldn’t use it and was dragging his limp arm around like Woody from Toy Story! So next day he had to go to A&E. Finally the doctors find a hairline teeny tiny fracture in his elbow!! Poor little Tornado ๐ŸŒช

However today the sun is now shining ๐ŸŒžand I got 6 hours sleep last night! ๐Ÿ˜ƒ Bonus. I feel normal Service has now been resumed at the Madhouse! …….Oooh and We won on Euromillions last night ๐ŸŽ‰ (a whole ยฃ6.80) but better than a poke in the eye. As the song says ‘Things Can Only Get Better’.

Life will improve soon Iโ€™m certain ๐Ÿ˜Š Gotta take the rough with the smooth and I’llย take whatever life throws at me!

Anyways I’m back in the game now! ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜˜ I’ve missed my little ranting space. I’m So glad to be back to bend your ears! ๐Ÿ‘‚๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘‚๐Ÿป

Also to make me feel better I am going ‘out out’ next month …… I’m gonna get shitfaced on jรคger bombs and dance on the tables!! Ha ha! ๐Ÿน๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜

Lynne X

2017 Highlights ๐Ÿ˜Š

2017 holds so many special memories.

……The moment I found out I was having twins last January ๐Ÿ˜ณ was brilliant!! As hubby couldnโ€™t make it to the appointment, I was literally saying to the sonographer that I was going to wind him up and tell him thereโ€™s 2 babies in there!! …… she replied very straight faced โ€œoh but there IS 2 babies in there, did you not know? Look twin 1 & twin 2โ€!!! ……well I donโ€™t think I closed my mouth for an hour after this news. ๐Ÿ˜ฑ Crying and laughing at the same time, trying to process this information.

I had previously joked about the chances of twins with my midwife when booking and even with hubby in the morning. I thought heโ€™ll never actually believe me ha ha!! ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป.

…. and oh the emotion, when we were told we were going to have a pink one ๐Ÿ’– and a blue one ๐Ÿ’™Even Big Daddy had a happy tear in his eye ๐Ÿ˜˜

I have fond memories of Jumping around at a Robbie williams concert at 33 weeks pregnant……Wondering if it might send me into labour. I had visions Iโ€™d make the newspapers โ€œwoman gives birth live on big screen at Robbie gigโ€ lol ๐Ÿคฃ people did steer clear of me incase my waters went ๐Ÿ’ฆโ˜”๏ธLol Even up to 38 weeks I was still panicking , Thinking how will We will cope but we do. Weโ€™re still absolutely winging it everyday! ๐Ÿ‘

Giving birth to the twinnies was very surreal as Iโ€™ve never been induced before but it all happened so quickly. No dramas a bit of gas n air, few squeezes and out they popped! Easy as shelling peas! ๐Ÿคฃ Babies no 4 & 5. A healthy handsome boy and FINALLY a pretty little girlie! ๐ŸŽ€๐Ÿ˜

God knows what itโ€™ll be like for her, growing up with 4 brothers ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™ She will be well protected thatโ€™s for sure! Or she may be the one protecting them all?! ๐Ÿ˜†Somehow I donโ€™t think sheโ€™ll turn out to be a pretty pink princess but more of a roughty tufty tom boy ….. just like her mummy! Itโ€™s no secret Iโ€™m not such dab hand with the feather duster and Iโ€™m definitely not the next Nigella Lawson ๐Ÿคฃ me and my own Mum prefer a hammer and paintbrush to any rubber gloves or pots and pans.

Anyway……so we have two Pre-teens with hormones flying round the house like a bad smell and an almost threenager. Why do I get the feeling the terrible twos were nothing compared to the next year with a headstrong toddler?! ๐Ÿค”

Archie started secondary school this year and he absolutely is loving it so far! The way he looks at it is he can get loads more YouTube subscribers ๐Ÿคฃ Toby is growing into a strapping, caring young lad whoโ€™s bigger than me now๐Ÿ˜ณ….that is when we do actually see him. We have to surgically remove him from the x-box or iPhone and now and again he comes out of hiding in his pit (usually at feeding time).

The Tornado Tom-Tom ๐ŸŒชrunning me ragged each day but with his naughty character and cheekiness but one look and he melts my heart.

The long suffering husband Mr Maddog working his ass off all year and coming home to the usually chaotic place we call home! Luckily the man can give Gordon Ramsey a run for his money and he CAN cook without burning the meat to a crisp or serving cold shrivelled up potatoes and veg! (Unlike my cooking โ€˜skillsโ€™ ….but I do try at least!)๐Ÿ˜œ

Pickle the bi-polar dog is still very grumpy at the prospect of living alongside all these children however heโ€™s still a part of this mad family. Even though he dislikes me ๐Ÿถ

Canโ€™t wait for 2018 to unfold ….. just imagine the twins will be on the move very soon so walking in public with 3 under 2 will be rather challenging! The twins can roll and spin and wriggle across the room already! Trying to get bums in the air and up on their knees. Watch out world!

Happy new year to you all! I hope I can continue to entertain you with my craziness?

Next stop ….book, reality tv show?! Comedy sitcom? Who knows? ๐Ÿคฃ

Iโ€™m sure The Madden’s will have plenty more stories to tell! Bring it on I say……Come on 2018 I’m ready for ya ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿพ๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽ‰xxx

Chaos, panic and disorder

Schools out for Xmas ๐ŸŽ‰ Yippee! No traumatic , emotionally fraught school runs for 2 whole weeks!

The big boys are completely overwhelmed by the whole sensory overload thing at Christmas time. This plus the change in routine and pure over excitement… has made their behaviour off the scale. ๐Ÿ˜ฉThey can’t cope with it all, So have mostly been hibernating with x box and you tube to escape the reality.

So being the very organised mum that I am?! ๐Ÿค”I just started my Christmas shopping on Monday, a week before the big day!!! After many years of vowing to think ahead and be completely done Xmas shopping by 1st December next year!! Yep! Ain’t ever gonna happen in this lifetime! ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

God bless Amazon prime is all I say! ๐Ÿ™Œ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ“ฆAnd not forgetting good old Argos fast track delivery! For people like me who aren’t the most organised at this crazy time of year, it’s perfect. ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐ŸปLess stress and delivered direct to your door….Yes granted not everything I wanted was in stock, but hey ho I’m sure the kids will LOVE what they have got ๐Ÿ˜Š .

Not only the mad rush to find last minute gifts we have 12 for Xmas dinner (well including the twins who are not eating yet) WTF was I thinking?!? ๐Ÿ˜œ (just kidding the more the merrier). We have too many kids to visit anyone’s house comfortably and without causing mass destruction or giving someone a nervous breakdown ๐Ÿ˜ณlol.

Oh crap….. I Just remembered about the bloody Christmas Eve boxes! ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŽ They will have to be scaled down a bit this year and do a ‘Family’ huge box with pjs and treats for everyone ๐Ÿ‘ I should seriously think about crowdfunding for next years festivities ๐Ÿคฃ

After a 24hour online shopping marathon, I am FINALLY done!!! Whatever doesn’t turn up on my doorstep tomorrow is tough titty . So now onto the dreaded wrapping, “my favourite part” ……said no Mum ever.

I’m staying home all of xmas to consume too many celebration choccys and get sozzled on bubbles & Baileys!๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿพ Hic

Also I’m off to plant a money tree in the garden now, in hope it will sprout many ยฃ50 notes by spring?! ๐Ÿ˜„ We are officially skint now but the kids will be happy …… and we’ll be drunk ๐Ÿ˜Š so everyone’s a winner!๐Ÿคฃ

๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿป Ho HO Ho! Merry Christmas to each and every one of you. See u next year ๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿพ๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿ˜˜ xxx

Midnight Ramblings

Random thought of the day popped into my head. I have created 5 beautiful, loving children. So in all 50 tiny fingers and 50 tiny toes! Now that’s a lot of digits…… โœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿป

It dawned on my as my 41st birthday is rapidly approaching…how Scary ๐Ÿ˜ฑAm I really that old? Old enough to be married and have birthed 5 kids?!? Lol ๐Ÿคฃ One minute I’m throwing some serious shapes at the local discotheque, where I met Mr Maddog โค๏ธ! I was a spring chicken back then at 19 years of age, way back in the 1990’s…….the next minute, in the blink of an eye, I’m the wrong side of 40 and more like an old nesting hen! I’ve not slept more than 5 hours a night in 6 months, not washed my hair for 2 weeks (grim but true) and I’m looking like I got dragged through a hedge backwards (twice). I ache from my eyeballs To my little toes BUT being mum is so rewarding it’s worth all the pain, upset, tiredness and emotional turmoil. 

As what we get in return from our kids in love & laughter FAR outweighs all that other stuff. We created life (lots of it!) and what a whole range of personalities they all are!! 

My kids amaze me everyday (even though the big ones can be little shits sometimes ) They test our patience to the max till you think your gonna explode but they also melt my heart with their clever, funny antics ๐Ÿ˜I find myself often singing strange random songs out of nowhere? Dancing round the living room like I’m having some kind of convulsion ๐Ÿคฃbut hey who cares we do have a laugh! Chuckling away at someone trumping rather loudly (yes I still find that funny!) Living with 4 boys and the hubby, unfortunately it’s a house full of flatulence! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ˜ท I admit I’m quite immature at times but hey who wants to be a boring grown up anyway?! 

Now I have my little lady in my life too in amongst all this testosterone. I love all my boys dearly but a pink one at last!๐Ÿ’• …..   somehow I think she will be the boss of them all and have them all wrapped around her little finger (probably the middle one) ๐Ÿคฃ She will be a tomboy just like her mumma. 

So on reflection of my random thoughts tonight …….. cherish every waking moment with your babies they don’t stay little for long. Enjoy them, play games with them, act silly with them and make memories. 

Enough of my rambling on, its 2am and I’m trying to get Little Miss Annie to settle as she’s not well. I desperately need my beauty sleep ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปso until next time it’s goodnight from her and good night from me.๐Ÿ˜˜ xxx

Sunday Funday

It’s a usual Sunday in The Madhouse! Like most ‘normal’ people (we are however far from normal). We lounge around in our pjs, having a rather lazy Sunday, breakfast is bacon sarnies and potter about the house till at least 12pm. The big kids are glued to Xbox and you tube,  the TV commandeered by the Toddler so we are watching Trolls for the millionth time. 

Let’s go on a nice family dog walk daddy suggests……Ok good idea! So then we commence attempting to find clean clothes, matching shoes etc. A few hours later we are all dressed and dragged our backsides off the sofa. We’re just about to leave the house but the twins need feeding again and bums need changing. Meanwhile Tommy is running around throwing squashed banana at the walls and squirting juice everywhere! ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

We eventually attempt to pile in the magic disco bus -the 8 seater minibus I recently purchased to accommodate my brood! I should give it a name it really. ๐ŸšŒ

Strapping a toddler and two babies in takes another 20 minutes. After a lot of swearing and getting in a hot sweaty mess manoeuvring and fitting 3 car seats, getting tangled with seat belts etc the little ones are safely locked in. The big boys are now squabbling and having proper fisticuffs in the back of the bus! Then they make up and are playing some kind of weird game that involves shrieking in each others faces and finding it highly amusing. FML 

We go fetch the grumpy dog ๐Ÿถ and he pulls a refusal to enter the new bus! Mr ‘Maddog’ (aka Daddy) picks up the miserable, overweight Jack Russell and finally climbs aboard! By this point it’s nearly sunset, it’s starting to bloody rain I’m seriously losing the will to live now! ……3 hours later than planned But HOORAY ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป we have eventually, actually left the house all 7 of us and the dog! 

What is normal to most families, (popping out for a family afternoon stroll) is like a major traumatic experience to us! Still we’ve gotta make light of our manic life or else I’d be crying uncontrollably and quietly rocking in a corner somewhere.

This is just a small insight to a day in the life of The Madden’s ….. by our standards a GOOD day!! Lol It’s all fun and games here ๐Ÿ˜œ xxx