In true Madden style a simple family dog walk ends up being an unexpected mudfest, right up to our knees.
It was all going so well…. it only took us 3 hours to actually leave the house today! So we took ourselves on a little wander, just local nowhere too extravagant.
About half way round Tommy decided he didn’t want to walk any further and wanted to be carried. Picture this…. I am 5ft 2, I have the twins in the pushchair, the dog attached and Tommy precariously balanced on the handlebar with his arms wrapped around me! We got a few strange looks as I was pushing it along 2 steps at a time, as his bum kept slipping off. Great I’m gonna have to carry him home 👍 So onto my child bearing hip he goes…. now carrying him is pretty challenging. He’s lanky and tall and likes to arch his back then go stiff as a board.
Just for good measure Tommy then decides to repeatedly slap my face as hard as he could, just as we walk past a calm normal family with 2.4 children. I saw them do a double take, gasp and count all the children throwing a disapproving glance our way!! YES I have 5 fucking children and a dog! Get over it! Yes I’m having a traumatic time right now! So do yourselves a favour and look away!!! (Of course I didn’t actually say this to them but sometimes wish I was that outspoken lol) Jeez some people! 🖕🏻🤦🏻♀️
We are 5 mins from home now but if we take a shortcut across the field it’ll take 2 mins I thought! I called to Toby up ahead “How Muddy is the field right now?” “Not muddy at all he says!” So we proceed to take the ‘short cut’. FML not only was it muddier than a farmers welly boot. We were already half way across, so no point in turning back now! If I stood still any longer I was gonna need a tow rope to pull me and the babies out of the deep muddy puddle I had rolled into!!
Now I did NOT have my wellies on … no far from it. I had my brand new, out of the box, fresh as a fucking daisy white pumps on!! 😭
Meanwhile Tommy had found his second wind and was happily jumping in the mud trousers and trainers soaked. Happy as a pig in shit! Literally! 🐷 I don’t mind my kids getting mucky but I just want expecting it right this moment in time. Lol 🤣 Never mind it’s all good fun and we were only a few minutes away from home.
So we finally get home 10 minutes or so later than the bloody long way round. We go in the back gate and I start hosing down shoes and pushchair. Then turn around and there is a semi-naked toddler standing there in his coat and socks with no pants on!! Talk about a chilly willy! ❄️ He thinks it’s hilarious to try and catch the water from the hose….Anyone would think it was summer… He really does not care one iota! 😳 Maybe he’ll grow up to be a naturist! Lol
My new shoes are ruined and the pushchair is caked in what I hope is just mud and not dog shite 💩! Gotta laugh at myself really…
So that was our crazy little dog walk. Always a comedy moment with these kids 🤣🙈 x