School Run with the Maddenโ€™s ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Honestly you could not make this shit up!

The morning school run is most definitely NOT my favourite part of the day! In fact the sheer thought of piling 5 kids in the van send shivers right down my spine.

From the outside it could be seen as a comedy sketch, from the inside I sometimes just want the ground to swallow me up and ball my eyes out (which sometimes does happen). But instead, you lucky people get the pleasure of my ranting blog post!! ๐Ÿคช

So if you’ve not got bored yet here’s how our typical morning went…….

The big ones have had me in tears ๐Ÿ˜ญ today, trying to get them ready and off to school!

We’ve had tantrums, meltdowns, squabbles and fisticuffs all before having our weetabix. FML ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

The older boys really do not like mornings (which I do kinda get if truth be told). After calling them every 10 mins for an hour since 7am. They finally rise from the pit they call their bedroom. They both have their duvets wrapped around them and sulking about being woken up too early. It’s now gone 8am and one is telling me how unfair life is and how he hates school. To be fair he does struggle with anxiety, so I do understand when he’s having trouble coping. The social pressures of senior school are very real ๐Ÿ˜ž.

However today it was those lovely teen hormones showing themselves and the boys were just literally niggling at each other and me!!

The night before I lay out everyone’s clothes shoes bags even down to underwear and deodorant, hair gel etc all ready to go in the morning.

It doesn’t matter if we get up at 6.30am or 8.30am We are still ALWAYS FUCKING LATE. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

The babies are no real problem in the mornings (as yet anyways) they just go from cot into the minbus in their pjs with a bottle. The Tornado ๐ŸŒช is starting to play hard ballย In the mornings though running away, out the front door faster than a lightening bolt. He thinks it’s hilarious to play chase when we’re late but he knows no different. Being non verbal, he has no real understanding of why we are rushing in the morning. It’s all a big game to him.

So we finally get everyone outside and Tommy is pulling a refusal to get in the van. I have to carry him kicking and screaming and fold him into the car seat. I try to distract him with a random song, a tickle or counting game whilst i secure him with the belt swiftly. His arms escape the harness numerous times…..Phew I’m really working up a sweat now!

Were on the move (albeit 45 mins late) and the stimming starts. Repetitive noises/phrases and shrill high pitch sounds come from both the big boys, It’s a coping mechanism for them. As were stuck at traffic lights they shout out random remarks to passing cars with their windows down! Nothing rude thank god! ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Finally we approach the school car park. Watch out, The Maddenโ€™s have entered the building!

And…… I can breath! We made it ๐Ÿคช๐ŸŽ‰โ˜•๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Š

There is always some drama in our life each day but all Iโ€™ll say is “Better Late Than Never” Iโ€™m actually surprised we even get out the front door to be honest! ๐Ÿคฃ

Rant over and out ….. once again thanks for reading!

Love L x๐Ÿ˜Š

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Life ……oh My life!

Oh hello! ๐Ÿค— Remember me? The little bit insane mother with lots of kids! Lol ๐Ÿคฃ

Long time no rant! So here goes……

Today has been very trying! It’s only 12pm lunchtime and I’ve done 9 nappy changes (including 4 poonamis), 4 outfit changes. 1 pukey throwing up incident.

Annie has been chasing me round crawling at the speed of light โšก๏ธShe’s trying to eat out of the dustpan as quick as I can sweep up! Albert has delved into the sudocreme no less than 6 times today whilst I’m changing the others and has eaten a good handful of it too! He bites the lid off and tucks in like its some kind of yummy treat! ๐Ÿคข

Those of you that follow my social media pages will know this has become quite the obsession with Master Albert! Little git๐Ÿ˜œ.

Albert is a climber…. he climbs the sofa, footstool and is eyeing up the window sill next. This is where big Bro The Tornado spends a lot of his time! Albert can walk with toys in front and swing between the furniture like a boss. He is practicing letting go and standing independently so I think we are gonna be mobile on 2 feet very, very soon ๐Ÿ˜ณ.

Miss Annie isn’t too far behind, she’s a little more wobbly but blimey the girl can get around fast. She can stand at the sofa and she’s not far off cruising. Annie likes to be upside down a lot and she watches tv like it, through her legs. She knows exactly what she wants and she will take it (milk, juice, biscuits, toys) she steels from her brothers and laughs when they cry…..little minx. She’s not daft! ๐Ÿ’–

Then there’s The Tornado ๐ŸŒช Well he’s still hectic as you like ๐Ÿคฃ and he is actually saying a few understandable words like ‘yeah’ , ‘ball’ and ‘up’ . It’s a little random at the moment but it’s progress none the less. He is nearly 3 and non verbal aside from these snippets. It’s gives us a glimmer of hope that his words will come eventually. It’s all very exciting stuff ๐ŸŽ‰chuffed Mumma right here ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Š. I’m sure, He too will be backchatting us in around 10 years time. Lol.

Life with 3 under 3 is far from a boring life that’s for sure and add to that the 2 big boys and their teenage hormones, anxiety and obsessions. ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ More fun than you can shake a stick at! ๐Ÿคฃ

I still love being Mum though, hard as it might be. I’m older, wiser? ๐Ÿค” greyer and wrinklier ๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿป but can still get down with the kids when needed (much to the embarrassment of my eldest)……Yes, I can do The Floss ๐Ÿ˜Ž ha ha!

It’s Half term too so thankfully no bastard school run to do! However it’s not that easy for me to take them all out by my myself. Entertaining 5 kids of varying ages is a challenge but we muddle through as best we can.

The big boys are banned from the X-box right now for being lairy/cheeky so they are driving me up the bloody wall! With cries of “I’m bored” or in Kevin the Teenager style “It’s so unfair when can I go back online” “Never” I reply *stomps off in strop…….Kids ey….Gotta love em ๐Ÿ˜

Well that’s our update on life for now! Nothing too enthralling but there’ll be plenty more tales to tell. Watch this space. I’m Just Trying to find my writing mojo again. It has been pretty full on lately as you can imagine. I’ve had no time to scratch my ass let alone blog! Fingers crossed I’ll find a bit of time here and there to keep you all amused.

Ta-Ta for now

Love L ๐Ÿ˜˜ x

We survived the school holidays …. just!

Yes I know we’re already a week back to school but it’s been hectic!!! Phew! 2 weeks off school with 5 kids has brought me to the edge of insanity BUT we got through it! Lol We’ve had tears and meltdowns (me and them), squabbling, screaming, fisticuffs and to top it off a fractured toddler elbow!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

Whilst other parents post pictures of their perfectly well behaved children doing something wholesome and outdoorsy every day, I’m a prisoner in my own home. Stuck in the house arguing with the big boys that it’s time to vacate their pit and switch the X Box off!!

The Little ones taking it in turns to cry, shit, sleep, repeat! ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Seriously I’m at the end of my tether….. I’m not gonna lie these past few weeks have been bloody hard work!!!

My eldest has become practically aggro-phobic and doesn’t want to leave his safe zone at home. His anxiety has reached new heightened levels so it takes hours of persuasion but we eventually try leaving the house for a walk. Nice bit of fresh air in our lungs ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿถ๐ŸŒฒ๐Ÿƒ However as the end of the hols drew closer we did manage to get The big boys out swimming with dad, to a retro gaming cafe (more computers) lol. We hid a few decorated rocks on our walk to then post on Facebook and re-hid them for others to find …..apparently it’s a new craze. Who knew?! For more info See.Portsmouth Rocks UKFinally I braved it and took all 5 to the inflatables session….. which is basically loads of bouncy castles indoors and 30 odd kids running riot! Fun times ๐Ÿ‘

So they did get out and do and few activities eventually.

In other news the twins are teething big time and I am seriously sleep deprived. Getting roughly 3-4 hours sleep a night is not really sufficient to survive ๐Ÿ˜ด Tommy has literally been beating me up out of frustration daily and sometimes quite violently โ˜น๏ธ and in between cuddles But I grin and bear it, heartbreaking as it is. Poor me!

On Thursday the Tornado fell off the sofa (climbing again) so a 10pm little trip to the local treatment centre was in order. We thought he’d popped his elbow out if it’s joint again ….so they clicked it back into place. However this time something wasn’t right, he still couldn’t use it and was dragging his limp arm around like Woody from Toy Story! So next day he had to go to A&E. Finally the doctors find a hairline teeny tiny fracture in his elbow!! Poor little Tornado ๐ŸŒช

However today the sun is now shining ๐ŸŒžand I got 6 hours sleep last night! ๐Ÿ˜ƒ Bonus. I feel normal Service has now been resumed at the Madhouse! …….Oooh and We won on Euromillions last night ๐ŸŽ‰ (a whole ยฃ6.80) but better than a poke in the eye. As the song says ‘Things Can Only Get Better’.

Life will improve soon Iโ€™m certain ๐Ÿ˜Š Gotta take the rough with the smooth and I’llย take whatever life throws at me!

Anyways I’m back in the game now! ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜˜ I’ve missed my little ranting space. I’m So glad to be back to bend your ears! ๐Ÿ‘‚๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘‚๐Ÿป

Also to make me feel better I am going ‘out out’ next month …… I’m gonna get shitfaced on jรคger bombs and dance on the tables!! Ha ha! ๐Ÿน๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜

Lynne X

Grappling Twins ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป

Watching my 2 youngest offspring rolling around the floor grappling with each other like some kind of ‘no holds barred’ WWF Wresting match ….. there’s eye poking, ear twisting, hair pulling. ๐Ÿ™Š I’m telling Albert “no” to him pulling his sisters tuft of hair for the umpteenth time this morning. He looks at me a smiles cheekily and does it twice as hard, grinning like a Cheshire Cat! ๐Ÿ˜บLittle git!!

Mind you Annie does give as good as she gets back to him to be fair. They trample (crawl) over each other so intent on reaching the closet bit of furniture. Yes, both twinnies are fully mobile and on the move now. Both crawling at speed, usually in opposite directions ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ We have a baby gate at every door, which I’ve swiftly learnt to scissor kick over the top (can’t open the bloody gate with 2 bubbas hanging onto the other side, looking like they’re in baby jail!) The Tornado ๐ŸŒช also loiters around the gate and gets his leg stuck in between the bars 101 times a day!!

Albert is walking proficiently round the furniture (coasting). Also standing up and even letting go momentarily. He’s practicing going up then down and laughing cause he’s plotting what mischief he can get into. He can do the whole flight of stairs too! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

Annie has got the crawling down to a fine art now and she can get on her feet whilst touching her toes. She sits perfectly straight up with her legs in the splits….. like a little ballerina doing her stretches. However then she spoils the ambiance of being lady like by rolling over with her legs still a Kimber and farting in a not very graceful fashion!! ….Yeah yeah I know just like her mummy!!๐Ÿ™Š

Even though we’re almost 9 months in I still stop and think WOW I have twins I made these perfect little bundles …. it STILL has not sunk in completely. Life has been such a blur of shitty nappies, teething, baby puke, sleepless nights, messy weaning and most importantly survival.

These kids amaze me everyday, as do the other 3. ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’–

I wonder what it will be like in a couple more months when I have 3 under 3 literally running around, disobeying orders and causing havoc!!

I look forward to seeing what trouble the three of them will cause together?!!๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฃ

Time to employ NanneeMcPhee maybe?

Lots of love

L x

Albertโ€™s gone commando!

As the title suggests out Albert has worked out the commando crawl! He’s been getting around the floor since about 4/5 months rolling and wiggling about. Now (almost 7 months) he’s proficiently dragging his cute little ass to wherever he wants to explore! Also up on his hands and knees rocking and kinda jumping/shoving himself forward.

He’s here, he’s there ….. he’s everywhere! Lol๐Ÿ˜ณ

Annie isn’t too far behind him either but she can’t quite get the momentum to pull herself along. Instead she gets up on her hands and knees rocks then un-gracefully falls flat on her belly ‘land-swimming’ doing a breaststroke like motion (not actually moving). Mind you, She can easily roll over and over and shimmy backwards, getting herself into some awkward spots. There’s mild panic when u step back in the room and she’s disappeared, nowhere to be seen …. then a pair of eyes peekaboo out from underneath the footstool! ๐Ÿ‘€

It suddenly dawned on me …..oh how lovely it is they are developing well and becoming more independent. However HOW the hell am I gonna manage 3 toddlers on the move!?? All heading in different directions? I guess do a quick risk assessment and go to the one in most danger first? …..tie him or her up to lamppost or pushchair and at Wonder Woman speed spin round and scoop up the other 2? Bloody hell I’m gonna have my work cut out. Tommy started walking at 9 months so if these 2 follow suit I’m in for a right treat in a couple months time!! At least I might finally get skinny? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป

I’m gonna have to try and put reins on the twins, to try and regain some sort of parental control! I’ll need one of those dog leads that splits into 2 and also one of those retractable dog leads for Tommy….so I can reel him back in as necessary! ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ™Š. In true toddler style ….He loves to drop to the ground (in the middle of a road) or refuse point blank to walk. He breaks free of my grip and bolts to jump in a random puddle he spotted 100 metres in the distance. My headstrong 2.5 year old already knows what he wants out of life ….. and woe betide anyone who gets in his way!!!

So watch this space cause I’m sure there will be a tale or two to tell in the near future. There’s never a dull moment here at The Madhouse as it is …… This will be bedlam!!! ๐Ÿคช

๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธxxx

Stay at home mum

Today me and the kids had a day at home to re-group. Been a busy few weeks and I am bloody shattered!๐Ÿ˜ด

Firstly my morning starts by soaking my socks stepping in a puddle of toddler pee. ๐Ÿ’ฆย Itย could have been much worse I guess ๐Ÿ’ฉMeanwhile whilst I’m mopping up, The Tornado is running riot. He’s butt naked after wiggling out of (clothes and nappy) flashing the neighbours, standing up loud and proud at the window sill. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

His next trick is his new fave game ‘see how fast the spat out banana can race/fall down the wall’… 4 hours later discover this game has happened all over downstairs. There is slimy black banana deposited all over walls doors! A Bit in each room. ๐ŸŒYuck! Then I sat on regurgitated chocolate biscuit on the sofa (he was obviously saving for later) Double yuck!

The Big boys are off sick today. Let’s just say this involves copious amounts of pooh, snot, intermittent moaning how life is so unfair! ย ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคง๐Ÿค’

The Twinnies are teething big time so are a little on the touchy side! They won’t be put down ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป They demand my undivided attention 24/7 or they start wailing like a banshee, then laugh at me when I cuddle them!๐Ÿ’ They’re learning all the tricks of the trade these bubbas. (But still ever so cute so forgiven instantly) They are definitely clued up in how to make noise and get get noticed in this mad house. Of course they are not feeling 100% so cuddles it is and sod the housework (again)!

Those that know me well, know I’m no domestic goddess. I get by and always have good intentions at being organised and tidy ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธEasier said than done living with my lot! The house gets tidied mostly an hour before visitors come over ๐Ÿคฃย I HATE cooking with a passion but love eating food! I seriously can burn water though! …..Luckily Mr Maddog can can cook up a storm in the kitchen. ๐Ÿฅ˜๐ŸSo we don’t have to eat my burnt ๐Ÿ”ฅ offerings and cold veg too often. Definitely not my forte. Anyone for takeaway? Lol.

The kids are clean, clothed, fed, loved and mostly happy so must be doing something right?! Right? ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

I love my life ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ……No really I do ๐Ÿ˜ but sometimes In the words of great philosopher Dory “just keep swimming, just keep swimming” ๐Ÿ 

Midnight Ramblings

Random thought of the day popped into my head. I have created 5 beautiful, loving children. So in all 50 tiny fingers and 50 tiny toes! Now that’s a lot of digits…… โœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿป

It dawned on my as my 41st birthday is rapidly approaching…how Scary ๐Ÿ˜ฑAm I really that old? Old enough to be married and have birthed 5 kids?!? Lol ๐Ÿคฃ One minute I’m throwing some serious shapes at the local discotheque, where I met Mr Maddog โค๏ธ! I was a spring chicken back then at 19 years of age, way back in the 1990’s…….the next minute, in the blink of an eye, I’m the wrong side of 40 and more like an old nesting hen! I’ve not slept more than 5 hours a night in 6 months, not washed my hair for 2 weeks (grim but true) and I’m looking like I got dragged through a hedge backwards (twice). I ache from my eyeballs To my little toes BUT being mum is so rewarding it’s worth all the pain, upset, tiredness and emotional turmoil. 

As what we get in return from our kids in love & laughter FAR outweighs all that other stuff. We created life (lots of it!) and what a whole range of personalities they all are!! 

My kids amaze me everyday (even though the big ones can be little shits sometimes ) They test our patience to the max till you think your gonna explode but they also melt my heart with their clever, funny antics ๐Ÿ˜I find myself often singing strange random songs out of nowhere? Dancing round the living room like I’m having some kind of convulsion ๐Ÿคฃbut hey who cares we do have a laugh! Chuckling away at someone trumping rather loudly (yes I still find that funny!) Living with 4 boys and the hubby, unfortunately it’s a house full of flatulence! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ˜ท I admit I’m quite immature at times but hey who wants to be a boring grown up anyway?! 

Now I have my little lady in my life too in amongst all this testosterone. I love all my boys dearly but a pink one at last!๐Ÿ’• …..   somehow I think she will be the boss of them all and have them all wrapped around her little finger (probably the middle one) ๐Ÿคฃ She will be a tomboy just like her mumma. 

So on reflection of my random thoughts tonight …….. cherish every waking moment with your babies they don’t stay little for long. Enjoy them, play games with them, act silly with them and make memories. 

Enough of my rambling on, its 2am and I’m trying to get Little Miss Annie to settle as she’s not well. I desperately need my beauty sleep ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปso until next time it’s goodnight from her and good night from me.๐Ÿ˜˜ xxx