Sleep is overrated anyway?! ๐Ÿ˜ด

It’s the eve of the first day back at school and none of my kids feel like sleeping at all! ๐Ÿ‘

The big boys are squabbling and fighting in their room and after telling them them to calm down around 17 gazillion times at 12.30am they finally give in and shut up! The rope and gaffer tape worked a treat! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Before they did actually calm down they managed to wake The twins up. Yippee! Thankfully they dozed on the sofa for a bit, whilst I pottered around getting all the school uniform prepared and bags etc

About 1am who’s that I hear bounding along the passageway …. u got it The Tornado ๐ŸŒชheard there was a baby party going on in the lounge and didn’t wanna miss out!

He thudded down the stairs trampled on his sleeping brother, waking him up and proceeded to steal his sisters bottle from her mouth….therefore waking her up. All three up and all hell let loose!! FFS of all nights I could have done with some sleep for a clear head in the morning?! ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

I hadn’t eaten, or showered. I was still wearing my day clothes and was sooooo fecking tired even before all the baby shenanigans tonight I was absolutley knackered!

After much sssshhhhh-ing and NO be quiet they kept teasing me snuggling up for a brief quiet moment and then springing to life again with yet another second wind.

Tornado was clattering his pissing Ninky Nonk toy around the fooor and crashing it as loud as possible. Then his whale toy was rammed repeatedly into the side of my head (he has a thing for doing this) Then he grabbed a chunk of my hair from my head and yanked out a clump Just for fun. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

I shoved the night garden on repeat on the tele box ๐Ÿ“บ with barely any volume. Not ideal I know but at 2am I was pretty desperate for them to settle down so tried milk, blanket, cuddles ..all to no avail.

At this point Bam Bam had star-fished on one of the sofas and had gone back to kip ๐Ÿ˜ด 1 down 2 to go!!

Meanwhile Pebbles had turned into bloody ‘spider girl’ she was teetering on the edge of the radiator and flinging herself off the sofa bouncing. Then balancing upside down on her head.

I was getting to the end of my tether. It was 3am now so I’m pleading with Tommy to be quiet and go to sleep. Literally begging him in desperation with tears streaming ๐Ÿ˜ญ down my face. Saying that mummy REALLY needs to go to sleep now. So I turned tv off cause that plan didn’t work. After being handed the remote a several hundred times and Tornado flicking the light switch on and off like a strobe effect …… the neighbours probably think we were actually having a fucking disco.

Around 4am ish both Pebbles and Tornado finally gave in! 3 hours before we needed to get up for school.

Ah, So much fun we had๐ŸŒช๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿคซ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ฉ lol

Thanks for reading (congrats if you got this far!) I’m all out of rants …..for now! ๐Ÿ˜˜

Love L x

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School Run with the Maddenโ€™s ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Honestly you could not make this shit up!

The morning school run is most definitely NOT my favourite part of the day! In fact the sheer thought of piling 5 kids in the van send shivers right down my spine.

From the outside it could be seen as a comedy sketch, from the inside I sometimes just want the ground to swallow me up and ball my eyes out (which sometimes does happen). But instead, you lucky people get the pleasure of my ranting blog post!! ๐Ÿคช

So if you’ve not got bored yet here’s how our typical morning went…….

The big ones have had me in tears ๐Ÿ˜ญ today, trying to get them ready and off to school!

We’ve had tantrums, meltdowns, squabbles and fisticuffs all before having our weetabix. FML ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

The older boys really do not like mornings (which I do kinda get if truth be told). After calling them every 10 mins for an hour since 7am. They finally rise from the pit they call their bedroom. They both have their duvets wrapped around them and sulking about being woken up too early. It’s now gone 8am and one is telling me how unfair life is and how he hates school. To be fair he does struggle with anxiety, so I do understand when he’s having trouble coping. The social pressures of senior school are very real ๐Ÿ˜ž.

However today it was those lovely teen hormones showing themselves and the boys were just literally niggling at each other and me!!

The night before I lay out everyone’s clothes shoes bags even down to underwear and deodorant, hair gel etc all ready to go in the morning.

It doesn’t matter if we get up at 6.30am or 8.30am We are still ALWAYS FUCKING LATE. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

The babies are no real problem in the mornings (as yet anyways) they just go from cot into the minbus in their pjs with a bottle. The Tornado ๐ŸŒช is starting to play hard ballย In the mornings though running away, out the front door faster than a lightening bolt. He thinks it’s hilarious to play chase when we’re late but he knows no different. Being non verbal, he has no real understanding of why we are rushing in the morning. It’s all a big game to him.

So we finally get everyone outside and Tommy is pulling a refusal to get in the van. I have to carry him kicking and screaming and fold him into the car seat. I try to distract him with a random song, a tickle or counting game whilst i secure him with the belt swiftly. His arms escape the harness numerous times…..Phew I’m really working up a sweat now!

Were on the move (albeit 45 mins late) and the stimming starts. Repetitive noises/phrases and shrill high pitch sounds come from both the big boys, It’s a coping mechanism for them. As were stuck at traffic lights they shout out random remarks to passing cars with their windows down! Nothing rude thank god! ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Finally we approach the school car park. Watch out, The Maddenโ€™s have entered the building!

And…… I can breath! We made it ๐Ÿคช๐ŸŽ‰โ˜•๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Š

There is always some drama in our life each day but all Iโ€™ll say is “Better Late Than Never” Iโ€™m actually surprised we even get out the front door to be honest! ๐Ÿคฃ

Rant over and out ….. once again thanks for reading!

Love L x๐Ÿ˜Š

We survived the school holidays …. just!

Yes I know we’re already a week back to school but it’s been hectic!!! Phew! 2 weeks off school with 5 kids has brought me to the edge of insanity BUT we got through it! Lol We’ve had tears and meltdowns (me and them), squabbling, screaming, fisticuffs and to top it off a fractured toddler elbow!!! ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

Whilst other parents post pictures of their perfectly well behaved children doing something wholesome and outdoorsy every day, I’m a prisoner in my own home. Stuck in the house arguing with the big boys that it’s time to vacate their pit and switch the X Box off!!

The Little ones taking it in turns to cry, shit, sleep, repeat! ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Seriously I’m at the end of my tether….. I’m not gonna lie these past few weeks have been bloody hard work!!!

My eldest has become practically aggro-phobic and doesn’t want to leave his safe zone at home. His anxiety has reached new heightened levels so it takes hours of persuasion but we eventually try leaving the house for a walk. Nice bit of fresh air in our lungs ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿถ๐ŸŒฒ๐Ÿƒ However as the end of the hols drew closer we did manage to get The big boys out swimming with dad, to a retro gaming cafe (more computers) lol. We hid a few decorated rocks on our walk to then post on Facebook and re-hid them for others to find …..apparently it’s a new craze. Who knew?! For more info See.Portsmouth Rocks UKFinally I braved it and took all 5 to the inflatables session….. which is basically loads of bouncy castles indoors and 30 odd kids running riot! Fun times ๐Ÿ‘

So they did get out and do and few activities eventually.

In other news the twins are teething big time and I am seriously sleep deprived. Getting roughly 3-4 hours sleep a night is not really sufficient to survive ๐Ÿ˜ด Tommy has literally been beating me up out of frustration daily and sometimes quite violently โ˜น๏ธ and in between cuddles But I grin and bear it, heartbreaking as it is. Poor me!

On Thursday the Tornado fell off the sofa (climbing again) so a 10pm little trip to the local treatment centre was in order. We thought he’d popped his elbow out if it’s joint again ….so they clicked it back into place. However this time something wasn’t right, he still couldn’t use it and was dragging his limp arm around like Woody from Toy Story! So next day he had to go to A&E. Finally the doctors find a hairline teeny tiny fracture in his elbow!! Poor little Tornado ๐ŸŒช

However today the sun is now shining ๐ŸŒžand I got 6 hours sleep last night! ๐Ÿ˜ƒ Bonus. I feel normal Service has now been resumed at the Madhouse! …….Oooh and We won on Euromillions last night ๐ŸŽ‰ (a whole ยฃ6.80) but better than a poke in the eye. As the song says ‘Things Can Only Get Better’.

Life will improve soon Iโ€™m certain ๐Ÿ˜Š Gotta take the rough with the smooth and I’llย take whatever life throws at me!

Anyways I’m back in the game now! ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜˜ I’ve missed my little ranting space. I’m So glad to be back to bend your ears! ๐Ÿ‘‚๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘‚๐Ÿป

Also to make me feel better I am going ‘out out’ next month …… I’m gonna get shitfaced on jรคger bombs and dance on the tables!! Ha ha! ๐Ÿน๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜

Lynne X

All Aboard the Autism Train

As the days go by it’s looking increasingly likely that I have a 3rd child with Autism/ADHD.

Tornado Tommy is next up to jump on! Buckle up kids you’re in for a rocky ride!

The familiar and sometimes peculiar behaviours he’s displaying is just confirming what we already suspected. We are 99% sure he is on the spectrum.

Tornado Tommy is a proper little character and yet different to the bigger boys in many ways. He is hectic & destructive and never ever sits still (just like his brothers) An average 2 year old can be crazy and hectic but it’s extreme with him.

The mahoosive explosive hour long meltdowns that come out of the blue……he’s completely non-verbal. He used to try and say a handful of words at 18months then just regressed back to zero speech โ˜น๏ธ .

Theย repetitive, obsessional behaviours.

The lashing out in temper and frustration. He hits and kicks me, quite hard (yet unmeaningly) during meltdowns. To gain my attention he might bosh me on the head with the remote a few times if he wants the channel changing. Or he might full on slap me round the chops! ๐Ÿ˜ฎIf I don’t give him my immediate attention.

My older boys never did these things! It’s pretty hard to accept your child beating the shit out of you and just having to calmly smile through gritted teeth and try to diffuse the situation before it escalates! But hey ho we just have to grin and bear it for now. It’s Soooo hard and frustrating for him and us!

Also he has started banging his head repetitively on the floor during a complete meltdown. Any hard surface he can find and his poor head gets it THUMP ๐Ÿค•. This is extremely worrying and heartbreaking to see him in such distress ๐Ÿ˜ข Poor boy!

Tommy plays alternatively lining random objects and toys up everyday. He’s more interested in the chippings at the park than using the equipment and joining in with other kids playing. To name but a few of his ways.

……..So anyway we’re on the pathway for diagnosis but it’s still too early to diagnose officially. Obviously having already been there, done that and got the t-shirt (twice) as seasoned Autism parents we kinda know what we’re dealing with already! ๐Ÿ˜œ

It is obviously is genetic somewhere along the line as 3 out of 5 are autistic so far!

I’m just hoping once the speech comes along some of his impulsive, irrational behaviours will simmer down a bit! ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป

The boy has got bucket loads of character though so I’m sure there will be a few more funny tales (not funny at the time) to tell. ๐ŸคฃWatch this space! Lol.

I obviously was not meant to have an easy life with my lot…. so I have to embrace the madness! If I didn’t I’d be locked in a padded cell, heavily sedated for the rest of my days!! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Normal is way over rated anyways!! Three of our very special boys have this label but each and everyone of them have qualities and personalities that shine above the disability.

YES they are all have their quirks and their behaviour is often unruly and off the scale BUT they are our boys and through thick and thin We will love and protect them always ๐Ÿ˜Š xxx

Don’t forget Autism Awareness day is 2nd April…. Spread the word x

Chaos, panic and disorder

Schools out for Xmas ๐ŸŽ‰ Yippee! No traumatic , emotionally fraught school runs for 2 whole weeks!

The big boys are completely overwhelmed by the whole sensory overload thing at Christmas time. This plus the change in routine and pure over excitement… has made their behaviour off the scale. ๐Ÿ˜ฉThey can’t cope with it all, So have mostly been hibernating with x box and you tube to escape the reality.

So being the very organised mum that I am?! ๐Ÿค”I just started my Christmas shopping on Monday, a week before the big day!!! After many years of vowing to think ahead and be completely done Xmas shopping by 1st December next year!! Yep! Ain’t ever gonna happen in this lifetime! ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

God bless Amazon prime is all I say! ๐Ÿ™Œ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ“ฆAnd not forgetting good old Argos fast track delivery! For people like me who aren’t the most organised at this crazy time of year, it’s perfect. ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐ŸปLess stress and delivered direct to your door….Yes granted not everything I wanted was in stock, but hey ho I’m sure the kids will LOVE what they have got ๐Ÿ˜Š .

Not only the mad rush to find last minute gifts we have 12 for Xmas dinner (well including the twins who are not eating yet) WTF was I thinking?!? ๐Ÿ˜œ (just kidding the more the merrier). We have too many kids to visit anyone’s house comfortably and without causing mass destruction or giving someone a nervous breakdown ๐Ÿ˜ณlol.

Oh crap….. I Just remembered about the bloody Christmas Eve boxes! ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŽ They will have to be scaled down a bit this year and do a ‘Family’ huge box with pjs and treats for everyone ๐Ÿ‘ I should seriously think about crowdfunding for next years festivities ๐Ÿคฃ

After a 24hour online shopping marathon, I am FINALLY done!!! Whatever doesn’t turn up on my doorstep tomorrow is tough titty . So now onto the dreaded wrapping, “my favourite part” ……said no Mum ever.

I’m staying home all of xmas to consume too many celebration choccys and get sozzled on bubbles & Baileys!๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿพ Hic

Also I’m off to plant a money tree in the garden now, in hope it will sprout many ยฃ50 notes by spring?! ๐Ÿ˜„ We are officially skint now but the kids will be happy …… and we’ll be drunk ๐Ÿ˜Š so everyone’s a winner!๐Ÿคฃ

๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿป Ho HO Ho! Merry Christmas to each and every one of you. See u next year ๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿพ๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿ˜˜ xxx

Invisible disability

An education in autism.

From looking at my boys you wouldn’t really know there is anything different about them.
My 2 eldest ones have a diagnosis of autism and ADHD. Archie was diagnosed with classic autism age 4 as it was very obvious and Toby diagnosed with Aspergers later at age 6. There is also the distinct possibility that the Tornado (2)๐ŸŒชcould also be on the spectrum somewhere. We’ll cross that bridge as and when we come to it.

The big ones draw attention to themselves daily by their outrageous behaviours and quirkiness. They do everything at 100mph (That is everything except getting dressed for school). The volume is always cranked right up day or night. Their shouting and squawking goes right through you sometimes ๐Ÿ™‰. I’ve become accustomed to their strange little ways BUT those passer bys and people looking from the outside in, sometimes look on in disgust and utter disbelief.

We regularly get the disapproving looks, stares, comments and tuts. …….not that’s it’s any of their fecking business! ๐Ÿ˜ฌThey can see me struggling already but throw daggers at me muttering under their breath about my unruly children. If only they could walk a day in my shoes and see how hard ‘normal’ Life is for us.

Mind you before becoming a Special Needs mum myself, I too, was probably quick to judge… If a kid was playing up in The supermarket for instance, I would assume they were being naughty and vowed my kids would never be like THAT spoiled brat.

Oh how my opinion has changed! Knowing what I do now . When I spot a mum getting flustered as her child is having a massive meltdown, I feel empathy for them and try not to draw any extra attention to her as she’s struggling to cope. If I do happen catch their eye I give a knowing nod and smile. Whether their child is diagnosed with a disability or not, that friendly glance will make the world of difference to them. ๐Ÿ˜Š

The disapproving old biddys and oh so perfect mothers can do one ๐Ÿ–•๐ŸปI’ve been in this game long enough to mostly ignore those kind of people. Arseholes to em!! But obviously I am only human so they may catch me off guard on the odd occasion. ๐Ÿ˜“

I do explain to people who I think want to listen and be educated on autism/ADHD or sensory overload ……At least I can say that my kids are not just naughty unruly little shits๐Ÿ˜ณ. There is a reason for the way they behave most of the time! I only talk to strangers who might try to understand at least. Alas there are some people who will never even try to see how difficult it is. For us to do normal every day activities with special Needs kids takes planning, a calm disposition, patience and a good sense of humour. ๐Ÿ˜œ

Some people think your kids just a good slap and discipline would sort them out…..How very wrong they are! Unfortunately their brains are wired up differently and the way they see the world is from a totally different perspective to you and I or the neurotypical person. Yes they are loud, they have tics, make strange shrill noises, repeat the same things over and over, they’re obsessive and do crazy impulsive things. Not to mention the lack of social skills and taking everything literally.

Obviously they are not all sweet and innocent and quite capable of playing me up but as a SEN parent you have to decipher what is behaviour due to autism ADHD PDA ODD sensory processing disorder to name but a few things it could be OR if they are being naughty in the traditional sense and need punishment. It’s very difficult to see the difference sometimes.

I’d like to say it gets easier as the boys grow up but the challenges that arise are just different especially when u throw in a shit load of testosterone. The dreaded puberty years!! The boys are as big as me in size and more vocal and argumentative nowadays. I find myself wagging my finger, looking up to them when telling them off! Kevin the Teenager has nothing on these boys. I hear myself saying things you’d hear your mother say like ” if you WHAT me one more Time young man you will be in big trouble” …….my God I’m getting old even caught myself saying “back in my day this would have happened …. ” WTF ?! then Made a mental note to never utter those words again ๐Ÿคฃ

I won’t lie, sometimes it does get to you, the way other people think and the rude comments they make. I mostly turn the blinkers on and just focus on the kids diffusing any difficult situations we have. Mostly I don’t let it get to me and just have a good rant on Facebook and most importantly I laugh at these off moments cause if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry (all day long)!! ๐Ÿ˜ญseriously though it’s good to make light of bad situations and think oh well tomorrow is another day. Draw a line under it and Move along swiftly!

Phew that was along one and a bit on the serious side but felt it needed to be aired๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜œ xxxย 

My comedy life!!๐Ÿค—

Hello! So……here it is my first blog post. Now where do I even begin?

Ok. Lets start with my big kids Toby & Archie Both are autistic/ADHD Pre-teens and are a right handful! Loveable rogues all the same. Then there’s Tornado Tom Tom..the hectic and very cheeky 2 year old. THEN add to the mix 12 week old boy girl twins Albert & Annie (cause life just wasn’t busy enough already๐Ÿค”)! ….. and YES we do own a tv!! Lol.

I thought I’d start this blog to record the many comedy moments that happen to us! Some not funny at the time but I like to share and amuse others! I usually have a good old rant on my Facebook status and people seemed to find my musings hilarious.๐Ÿคฃ

Happy reading! Xxx