Invisible disability

An education in autism.

From looking at my boys you wouldn’t really know there is anything different about them.
My 2 eldest ones have a diagnosis of autism and ADHD. Archie was diagnosed with classic autism age 4 as it was very obvious and Toby diagnosed with Aspergers later at age 6. There is also the distinct possibility that the Tornado (2)🌪could also be on the spectrum somewhere. We’ll cross that bridge as and when we come to it.

The big ones draw attention to themselves daily by their outrageous behaviours and quirkiness. They do everything at 100mph (That is everything except getting dressed for school). The volume is always cranked right up day or night. Their shouting and squawking goes right through you sometimes 🙉. I’ve become accustomed to their strange little ways BUT those passer bys and people looking from the outside in, sometimes look on in disgust and utter disbelief.

We regularly get the disapproving looks, stares, comments and tuts. …….not that’s it’s any of their fecking business! 😬They can see me struggling already but throw daggers at me muttering under their breath about my unruly children. If only they could walk a day in my shoes and see how hard ‘normal’ Life is for us.

Mind you before becoming a Special Needs mum myself, I too, was probably quick to judge… If a kid was playing up in The supermarket for instance, I would assume they were being naughty and vowed my kids would never be like THAT spoiled brat.

Oh how my opinion has changed! Knowing what I do now . When I spot a mum getting flustered as her child is having a massive meltdown, I feel empathy for them and try not to draw any extra attention to her as she’s struggling to cope. If I do happen catch their eye I give a knowing nod and smile. Whether their child is diagnosed with a disability or not, that friendly glance will make the world of difference to them. 😊

The disapproving old biddys and oh so perfect mothers can do one 🖕🏻I’ve been in this game long enough to mostly ignore those kind of people. Arseholes to em!! But obviously I am only human so they may catch me off guard on the odd occasion. 😓

I do explain to people who I think want to listen and be educated on autism/ADHD or sensory overload ……At least I can say that my kids are not just naughty unruly little shits😳. There is a reason for the way they behave most of the time! I only talk to strangers who might try to understand at least. Alas there are some people who will never even try to see how difficult it is. For us to do normal every day activities with special Needs kids takes planning, a calm disposition, patience and a good sense of humour. 😜

Some people think your kids just a good slap and discipline would sort them out…..How very wrong they are! Unfortunately their brains are wired up differently and the way they see the world is from a totally different perspective to you and I or the neurotypical person. Yes they are loud, they have tics, make strange shrill noises, repeat the same things over and over, they’re obsessive and do crazy impulsive things. Not to mention the lack of social skills and taking everything literally.

Obviously they are not all sweet and innocent and quite capable of playing me up but as a SEN parent you have to decipher what is behaviour due to autism ADHD PDA ODD sensory processing disorder to name but a few things it could be OR if they are being naughty in the traditional sense and need punishment. It’s very difficult to see the difference sometimes.

I’d like to say it gets easier as the boys grow up but the challenges that arise are just different especially when u throw in a shit load of testosterone. The dreaded puberty years!! The boys are as big as me in size and more vocal and argumentative nowadays. I find myself wagging my finger, looking up to them when telling them off! Kevin the Teenager has nothing on these boys. I hear myself saying things you’d hear your mother say like ” if you WHAT me one more Time young man you will be in big trouble” …….my God I’m getting old even caught myself saying “back in my day this would have happened …. ” WTF ?! then Made a mental note to never utter those words again 🤣

I won’t lie, sometimes it does get to you, the way other people think and the rude comments they make. I mostly turn the blinkers on and just focus on the kids diffusing any difficult situations we have. Mostly I don’t let it get to me and just have a good rant on Facebook and most importantly I laugh at these off moments cause if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry (all day long)!! 😭seriously though it’s good to make light of bad situations and think oh well tomorrow is another day. Draw a line under it and Move along swiftly!

Phew that was along one and a bit on the serious side but felt it needed to be aired😘😊😜 xxx 

Author: The Mad Madden's

Married to my hubby Scott who I've been with 24 (long years)!! 😜Lol Crazy mum to 5 kids. All 5 are diagnosed with autism! 2 strapping teenagers, one mischievous Tornado (5)🌪 and b/g twins aged 3. So 4 boys and 1 girlie 💙💙💙💙💖Also a very grumpy dog called Pickle. 🐶I love hula hooping and Zumba but after popping out so many kids I don't find the time these days! My favourite phrase is FFS so things sometimes do get a little sweary🙊! Hope you enjoy my comedy take on life 😜🤣😊 xxx

12 thoughts on “Invisible disability”

  1. Really loved this blog. Such a good read, I remember when I used to work in McDonald’s and I was on the drive through and someone was changing my till and this little girl was banging down my window and when I opened the window she threw the money at me and the Mother driving the car just shouted out “sorry-the joys of Autism” and drove to the next window and I just thought to myself what a legend. It wasn’t really apologetic but humorous, because she didn’t need to apologise and in fact people in the queue waiting probably wanted to do the same thing the little girl did. I always remember that story. Keep doing what you’re doing, your right, it’s no one’s business ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Really well expressed – honesty about your real life experiences are very important to keep educating people who find it so easy to judge others. Unfortunately, many people think their noses belong in other people’s situations … but once they stick their noses in, they prefer to judge without any foundation rather than simply giving a gentle smile that does help ease some of the stress at a difficult time. Keep ignoring the ignorant people but always keep an eye out for those people who have true empathy and can relate.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Totally with you! Whenever I see a mum or parent in distress trying to sort their crying baby/child or even tell off their child I like to give a friendly smile to kind of say “it’s okay, you got this”. I find it truly helps!
    Much love, Caitylis x x
    caitylis.co.uk

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Such an important post and it’s so helpful to get an insight ! It’s so important to raise awareness because some people can be so naive sometimes!
    Saira
    Sairasays.co.uk xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Yes you’re right….some people can be so judgemental so I love to spread awareness at every opportunity. Yet others can be so understanding once I explain the boys difficulties.😊 xxx

      Like

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