Warning ‼️ Self pity post! Boo hoo, poor me! 😭 ……I’m Not looking for sympathy just somewhere to rant……you all know I like doing that!! 😜
As I look in the mirror I hardly recognise the reflection staring back at me! The old haggard face I see before me looks completly and utterly done in! 👵🏻 Sporting a Cruella-de-Ville style hair ‘style’ (I say style …. scraped up in a mum bun not been washed or brushed for more than a week).
Let’s call it Vintage but not in a good way…….just because at 41 I’m looking wrinkly and much, much older than my years!!!
I’m well and truly looking like a geriatric Mum at the moment! As someone said to me once “You carry on popping out kids, you’ll be collecting your pension at the same time as child benefit” 🤣 This is funny but also true 😳.
6 months in with the twins, I’m up to my neck in shitty nappies and wading through mountains and mountains washing, my kitchen currently resembles my very own launderette!
Don’t get me wrong I LOVE 😍 being a Mum but sometimes it would be nice to be ME again!
Seriously though my backside has quadrupled in size since giving birth to the twins !! 😳 Even though I don’t sit still often. I’m always chasing the little cherubs around, keeping them out of mischief and danger. My curves are nothing whatsoever to do with the family size dairy milk bar I guzzle in one night or 3 sugars I shovel into my tea ten times a day! Oh no! 🙊I refuse to buy new more accommodating clothes for my new chunky figure as I’m hoping I will drop like 4 dress sizes in the next month or 2! Ha ha! I can dream…… only way that’ll happen is if I have my mouth sewn shut or a gastric band!
I really do miss shaking my ass at Zumba and wiggling my big child bearing hips at hula hoop class. Mind you If I go making any rash movements, jumping around, it will likely measure 8 on the Richter scale lol 🤣 Anyway i just don’t physically have the time or energy to participate right now!
I could also do with some serious Botox, relaxing and pampering 💆🏻♀️! I’m sure a weekend away at a spa would help! Hint Hint Daddy Maddog
…..Ok so enough moaning and time to do something about it right?! Slimming World, bubble bath 🛁, some tunes, industrial strength razor (yes I may even push the boat out and shave my legs) 🤣 Kids all asleep ✔️ Check …… so I take an actual bath at gone midnight but it is heaven.
I’m not into all this new year, new me bullshit resolutions but maybe I should try looking after ME as well as the brood!!
I’m currently filling up my diary for the next few months. Hopefully this will involve a few raucous nights “out out” 🥂🍷🍾with the girls as well as a few coffee ☕️ ‘moanings’ …. maybe even a date night with Big Daddy? 😉 😉
I Might make myself pretty again by putting on a bit of make up (with a trowel). Maybe dye/brush my hair occasionally and dust off the straighteners.💁🏻♀️
After all if you don’t look after yourself you won’t be able to look after those that rely on you! Sooner or later you will crash and burn.
It’s so worth the hard work though for those sprogs of mine! 😊
Meanwhile… I’ve eaten a whole pack of choccy hobnobs to myself whilst writing this !!😩 Time to get my arse in gear me thinks.
All donations to Lynne’s Spa weekend/liposuction/tummy tuck/Botox fund gratefully received, thanks! 😘xxx