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My comedy life!!๐Ÿค—

Hello! So……here it is my first blog post. Now where do I even begin?

Ok. Lets start with my big kids Toby & Archie Both are autistic/ADHD Pre-teens and are a right handful! Loveable rogues all the same. Then there’s Tornado Tom Tom..the hectic and very cheeky 2 year old. THEN add to the mix 12 week old boy girl twins Albert & Annie (cause life just wasn’t busy enough already๐Ÿค”)! ….. and YES we do own a tv!! Lol.

I thought I’d start this blog to record the many comedy moments that happen to us! Some not funny at the time but I like to share and amuse others! I usually have a good old rant on my Facebook status and people seemed to find my musings hilarious.๐Ÿคฃ

Happy reading! Xxx

 

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2017 Highlights ๐Ÿ˜Š

2017 holds so many special memories.

……The moment I found out I was having twins last January ๐Ÿ˜ณ was brilliant!! As hubby couldnโ€™t make it to the appointment, I was literally saying to the sonographer that I was going to wind him up and tell him thereโ€™s 2 babies in there!! …… she replied very straight faced โ€œoh but there IS 2 babies in there, did you not know? Look twin 1 & twin 2โ€!!! ……well I donโ€™t think I closed my mouth for an hour after this news. ๐Ÿ˜ฑ Crying and laughing at the same time, trying to process this information.

I had previously joked about the chances of twins with my midwife when booking and even with hubby in the morning. I thought heโ€™ll never actually believe me ha ha!! ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป.

…. and oh the emotion, when we were told we were going to have a pink one ๐Ÿ’– and a blue one ๐Ÿ’™Even Big Daddy had a happy tear in his eye ๐Ÿ˜˜

I have fond memories of Jumping around at a Robbie williams concert at 33 weeks pregnant……Wondering if it might send me into labour. I had visions Iโ€™d make the newspapers โ€œwoman gives birth live on big screen at Robbie gigโ€ lol ๐Ÿคฃ people did steer clear of me incase my waters went ๐Ÿ’ฆโ˜”๏ธLol Even up to 38 weeks I was still panicking , Thinking how will We will cope but we do. Weโ€™re still absolutely winging it everyday! ๐Ÿ‘

Giving birth to the twinnies was very surreal as Iโ€™ve never been induced before but it all happened so quickly. No dramas a bit of gas n air, few squeezes and out they popped! Easy as shelling peas! ๐Ÿคฃ Babies no 4 & 5. A healthy handsome boy and FINALLY a pretty little girlie! ๐ŸŽ€๐Ÿ˜

God knows what itโ€™ll be like for her, growing up with 4 brothers ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™ She will be well protected thatโ€™s for sure! Or she may be the one protecting them all?! ๐Ÿ˜†Somehow I donโ€™t think sheโ€™ll turn out to be a pretty pink princess but more of a roughty tufty tom boy ….. just like her mummy! Itโ€™s no secret Iโ€™m not such dab hand with the feather duster and Iโ€™m definitely not the next Nigella Lawson ๐Ÿคฃ me and my own Mum prefer a hammer and paintbrush to any rubber gloves or pots and pans.

Anyway……so we have two Pre-teens with hormones flying round the house like a bad smell and an almost threenager. Why do I get the feeling the terrible twos were nothing compared to the next year with a headstrong toddler?! ๐Ÿค”

Archie started secondary school this year and he absolutely is loving it so far! The way he looks at it is he can get loads more YouTube subscribers ๐Ÿคฃ Toby is growing into a strapping, caring young lad whoโ€™s bigger than me now๐Ÿ˜ณ….that is when we do actually see him. We have to surgically remove him from the x-box or iPhone and now and again he comes out of hiding in his pit (usually at feeding time).

The Tornado Tom-Tom ๐ŸŒชrunning me ragged each day but with his naughty character and cheekiness but one look and he melts my heart.

The long suffering husband Mr Maddog working his ass off all year and coming home to the usually chaotic place we call home! Luckily the man can give Gordon Ramsey a run for his money and he CAN cook without burning the meat to a crisp or serving cold shrivelled up potatoes and veg! (Unlike my cooking โ€˜skillsโ€™ ….but I do try at least!)๐Ÿ˜œ

Pickle the bi-polar dog is still very grumpy at the prospect of living alongside all these children however heโ€™s still a part of this mad family. Even though he dislikes me ๐Ÿถ

Canโ€™t wait for 2018 to unfold ….. just imagine the twins will be on the move very soon so walking in public with 3 under 2 will be rather challenging! The twins can roll and spin and wriggle across the room already! Trying to get bums in the air and up on their knees. Watch out world!

Happy new year to you all! I hope I can continue to entertain you with my craziness?

Next stop ….book, reality tv show?! Comedy sitcom? Who knows? ๐Ÿคฃ

Iโ€™m sure The Madden’s will have plenty more stories to tell! Bring it on I say……Come on 2018 I’m ready for ya ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿพ๐ŸŽŠ๐ŸŽ‰xxx

Chaos, panic and disorder

Schools out for Xmas ๐ŸŽ‰ Yippee! No traumatic , emotionally fraught school runs for 2 whole weeks!

The big boys are completely overwhelmed by the whole sensory overload thing at Christmas time. This plus the change in routine and pure over excitement… has made their behaviour off the scale. ๐Ÿ˜ฉThey can’t cope with it all, So have mostly been hibernating with x box and you tube to escape the reality.

So being the very organised mum that I am?! ๐Ÿค”I just started my Christmas shopping on Monday, a week before the big day!!! After many years of vowing to think ahead and be completely done Xmas shopping by 1st December next year!! Yep! Ain’t ever gonna happen in this lifetime! ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

God bless Amazon prime is all I say! ๐Ÿ™Œ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ“ฆAnd not forgetting good old Argos fast track delivery! For people like me who aren’t the most organised at this crazy time of year, it’s perfect. ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐ŸปLess stress and delivered direct to your door….Yes granted not everything I wanted was in stock, but hey ho I’m sure the kids will LOVE what they have got ๐Ÿ˜Š .

Not only the mad rush to find last minute gifts we have 12 for Xmas dinner (well including the twins who are not eating yet) WTF was I thinking?!? ๐Ÿ˜œ (just kidding the more the merrier). We have too many kids to visit anyone’s house comfortably and without causing mass destruction or giving someone a nervous breakdown ๐Ÿ˜ณlol.

Oh crap….. I Just remembered about the bloody Christmas Eve boxes! ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŽ They will have to be scaled down a bit this year and do a ‘Family’ huge box with pjs and treats for everyone ๐Ÿ‘ I should seriously think about crowdfunding for next years festivities ๐Ÿคฃ

After a 24hour online shopping marathon, I am FINALLY done!!! Whatever doesn’t turn up on my doorstep tomorrow is tough titty . So now onto the dreaded wrapping, “my favourite part” ……said no Mum ever.

I’m staying home all of xmas to consume too many celebration choccys and get sozzled on bubbles & Baileys!๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿพ Hic

Also I’m off to plant a money tree in the garden now, in hope it will sprout many ยฃ50 notes by spring?! ๐Ÿ˜„ We are officially skint now but the kids will be happy …… and we’ll be drunk ๐Ÿ˜Š so everyone’s a winner!๐Ÿคฃ

๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿป Ho HO Ho! Merry Christmas to each and every one of you. See u next year ๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿพ๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿ˜˜ xxx

Invisible disability

An education in autism.

From looking at my boys you wouldn’t really know there is anything different about them.
My 2 eldest ones have a diagnosis of autism and ADHD. Archie was diagnosed with classic autism age 4 as it was very obvious and Toby diagnosed with Aspergers later at age 6. There is also the distinct possibility that the Tornado (2)๐ŸŒชcould also be on the spectrum somewhere. We’ll cross that bridge as and when we come to it.

The big ones draw attention to themselves daily by their outrageous behaviours and quirkiness. They do everything at 100mph (That is everything except getting dressed for school). The volume is always cranked right up day or night. Their shouting and squawking goes right through you sometimes ๐Ÿ™‰. I’ve become accustomed to their strange little ways BUT those passer bys and people looking from the outside in, sometimes look on in disgust and utter disbelief.

We regularly get the disapproving looks, stares, comments and tuts. …….not that’s it’s any of their fecking business! ๐Ÿ˜ฌThey can see me struggling already but throw daggers at me muttering under their breath about my unruly children. If only they could walk a day in my shoes and see how hard ‘normal’ Life is for us.

Mind you before becoming a Special Needs mum myself, I too, was probably quick to judge… If a kid was playing up in The supermarket for instance, I would assume they were being naughty and vowed my kids would never be like THAT spoiled brat.

Oh how my opinion has changed! Knowing what I do now . When I spot a mum getting flustered as her child is having a massive meltdown, I feel empathy for them and try not to draw any extra attention to her as she’s struggling to cope. If I do happen catch their eye I give a knowing nod and smile. Whether their child is diagnosed with a disability or not, that friendly glance will make the world of difference to them. ๐Ÿ˜Š

The disapproving old biddys and oh so perfect mothers can do one ๐Ÿ–•๐ŸปI’ve been in this game long enough to mostly ignore those kind of people. Arseholes to em!! But obviously I am only human so they may catch me off guard on the odd occasion. ๐Ÿ˜“

I do explain to people who I think want to listen and be educated on autism/ADHD or sensory overload ……At least I can say that my kids are not just naughty unruly little shits๐Ÿ˜ณ. There is a reason for the way they behave most of the time! I only talk to strangers who might try to understand at least. Alas there are some people who will never even try to see how difficult it is. For us to do normal every day activities with special Needs kids takes planning, a calm disposition, patience and a good sense of humour. ๐Ÿ˜œ

Some people think your kids just a good slap and discipline would sort them out…..How very wrong they are! Unfortunately their brains are wired up differently and the way they see the world is from a totally different perspective to you and I or the neurotypical person. Yes they are loud, they have tics, make strange shrill noises, repeat the same things over and over, they’re obsessive and do crazy impulsive things. Not to mention the lack of social skills and taking everything literally.

Obviously they are not all sweet and innocent and quite capable of playing me up but as a SEN parent you have to decipher what is behaviour due to autism ADHD PDA ODD sensory processing disorder to name but a few things it could be OR if they are being naughty in the traditional sense and need punishment. It’s very difficult to see the difference sometimes.

I’d like to say it gets easier as the boys grow up but the challenges that arise are just different especially when u throw in a shit load of testosterone. The dreaded puberty years!! The boys are as big as me in size and more vocal and argumentative nowadays. I find myself wagging my finger, looking up to them when telling them off! Kevin the Teenager has nothing on these boys. I hear myself saying things you’d hear your mother say like ” if you WHAT me one more Time young man you will be in big trouble” …….my God I’m getting old even caught myself saying “back in my day this would have happened …. ” WTF ?! then Made a mental note to never utter those words again ๐Ÿคฃ

I won’t lie, sometimes it does get to you, the way other people think and the rude comments they make. I mostly turn the blinkers on and just focus on the kids diffusing any difficult situations we have. Mostly I don’t let it get to me and just have a good rant on Facebook and most importantly I laugh at these off moments cause if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry (all day long)!! ๐Ÿ˜ญseriously though it’s good to make light of bad situations and think oh well tomorrow is another day. Draw a line under it and Move along swiftly!

Phew that was along one and a bit on the serious side but felt it needed to be aired๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜œ xxxย 

Stay at home mum

Today me and the kids had a day at home to re-group. Been a busy few weeks and I am bloody shattered!๐Ÿ˜ด

Firstly my morning starts by soaking my socks stepping in a puddle of toddler pee. ๐Ÿ’ฆย Itย could have been much worse I guess ๐Ÿ’ฉMeanwhile whilst I’m mopping up, The Tornado is running riot. He’s butt naked after wiggling out of (clothes and nappy) flashing the neighbours, standing up loud and proud at the window sill. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

His next trick is his new fave game ‘see how fast the spat out banana can race/fall down the wall’… 4 hours later discover this game has happened all over downstairs. There is slimy black banana deposited all over walls doors! A Bit in each room. ๐ŸŒYuck! Then I sat on regurgitated chocolate biscuit on the sofa (he was obviously saving for later) Double yuck!

The Big boys are off sick today. Let’s just say this involves copious amounts of pooh, snot, intermittent moaning how life is so unfair! ย ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคง๐Ÿค’

The Twinnies are teething big time so are a little on the touchy side! They won’t be put down ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป They demand my undivided attention 24/7 or they start wailing like a banshee, then laugh at me when I cuddle them!๐Ÿ’ They’re learning all the tricks of the trade these bubbas. (But still ever so cute so forgiven instantly) They are definitely clued up in how to make noise and get get noticed in this mad house. Of course they are not feeling 100% so cuddles it is and sod the housework (again)!

Those that know me well, know I’m no domestic goddess. I get by and always have good intentions at being organised and tidy ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธEasier said than done living with my lot! The house gets tidied mostly an hour before visitors come over ๐Ÿคฃย I HATE cooking with a passion but love eating food! I seriously can burn water though! …..Luckily Mr Maddog can can cook up a storm in the kitchen. ๐Ÿฅ˜๐ŸSo we don’t have to eat my burnt ๐Ÿ”ฅ offerings and cold veg too often. Definitely not my forte. Anyone for takeaway? Lol.

The kids are clean, clothed, fed, loved and mostly happy so must be doing something right?! Right? ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

I love my life ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ……No really I do ๐Ÿ˜ but sometimes In the words of great philosopher Dory “just keep swimming, just keep swimming” ๐Ÿ 

Midnight Ramblings

Random thought of the day popped into my head. I have created 5 beautiful, loving children. So in all 50 tiny fingers and 50 tiny toes! Now that’s a lot of digits…… โœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿปโœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคš๐Ÿป

It dawned on my as my 41st birthday is rapidly approaching…how Scary ๐Ÿ˜ฑAm I really that old? Old enough to be married and have birthed 5 kids?!? Lol ๐Ÿคฃ One minute I’m throwing some serious shapes at the local discotheque, where I met Mr Maddog โค๏ธ! I was a spring chicken back then at 19 years of age, way back in the 1990’s…….the next minute, in the blink of an eye, I’m the wrong side of 40 and more like an old nesting hen! I’ve not slept more than 5 hours a night in 6 months, not washed my hair for 2 weeks (grim but true) and I’m looking like I got dragged through a hedge backwards (twice). I ache from my eyeballs To my little toes BUT being mum is so rewarding it’s worth all the pain, upset, tiredness and emotional turmoil. 

As what we get in return from our kids in love & laughter FAR outweighs all that other stuff. We created life (lots of it!) and what a whole range of personalities they all are!! 

My kids amaze me everyday (even though the big ones can be little shits sometimes ) They test our patience to the max till you think your gonna explode but they also melt my heart with their clever, funny antics ๐Ÿ˜I find myself often singing strange random songs out of nowhere? Dancing round the living room like I’m having some kind of convulsion ๐Ÿคฃbut hey who cares we do have a laugh! Chuckling away at someone trumping rather loudly (yes I still find that funny!) Living with 4 boys and the hubby, unfortunately it’s a house full of flatulence! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ˜ท I admit I’m quite immature at times but hey who wants to be a boring grown up anyway?! 

Now I have my little lady in my life too in amongst all this testosterone. I love all my boys dearly but a pink one at last!๐Ÿ’• …..   somehow I think she will be the boss of them all and have them all wrapped around her little finger (probably the middle one) ๐Ÿคฃ She will be a tomboy just like her mumma. 

So on reflection of my random thoughts tonight …….. cherish every waking moment with your babies they don’t stay little for long. Enjoy them, play games with them, act silly with them and make memories. 

Enough of my rambling on, its 2am and I’m trying to get Little Miss Annie to settle as she’s not well. I desperately need my beauty sleep ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปso until next time it’s goodnight from her and good night from me.๐Ÿ˜˜ xxx

Sunday Funday

It’s a usual Sunday in The Madhouse! Like most ‘normal’ people (we are however far from normal). We lounge around in our pjs, having a rather lazy Sunday, breakfast is bacon sarnies and potter about the house till at least 12pm. The big kids are glued to Xbox and you tube,  the TV commandeered by the Toddler so we are watching Trolls for the millionth time. 

Let’s go on a nice family dog walk daddy suggests……Ok good idea! So then we commence attempting to find clean clothes, matching shoes etc. A few hours later we are all dressed and dragged our backsides off the sofa. We’re just about to leave the house but the twins need feeding again and bums need changing. Meanwhile Tommy is running around throwing squashed banana at the walls and squirting juice everywhere! ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

We eventually attempt to pile in the magic disco bus -the 8 seater minibus I recently purchased to accommodate my brood! I should give it a name it really. ๐ŸšŒ

Strapping a toddler and two babies in takes another 20 minutes. After a lot of swearing and getting in a hot sweaty mess manoeuvring and fitting 3 car seats, getting tangled with seat belts etc the little ones are safely locked in. The big boys are now squabbling and having proper fisticuffs in the back of the bus! Then they make up and are playing some kind of weird game that involves shrieking in each others faces and finding it highly amusing. FML 

We go fetch the grumpy dog ๐Ÿถ and he pulls a refusal to enter the new bus! Mr ‘Maddog’ (aka Daddy) picks up the miserable, overweight Jack Russell and finally climbs aboard! By this point it’s nearly sunset, it’s starting to bloody rain I’m seriously losing the will to live now! ……3 hours later than planned But HOORAY ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป we have eventually, actually left the house all 7 of us and the dog! 

What is normal to most families, (popping out for a family afternoon stroll) is like a major traumatic experience to us! Still we’ve gotta make light of our manic life or else I’d be crying uncontrollably and quietly rocking in a corner somewhere.

This is just a small insight to a day in the life of The Madden’s ….. by our standards a GOOD day!! Lol It’s all fun and games here ๐Ÿ˜œ xxx

Tommy, an introduction…….

You know when you go to playgroup for the first time and there always that ONE kid who runs around screaming, throwing things about? That ONE kid who charges around at 100 miles an hour, barging kids out the way as he has no spatial awareness? Then dropping to the ground in a tantrum when told to stop launching the toys ……YEP! That was my boy today!!! ๐Ÿ™ˆ
It was MY Unruly toddler who was the naughty one, terrorising the other children and causing a trail of mass destruction. When the rest of the group tidied up and sat still for storytime and singing…. of course Tommy decided he didn’t fancy that. So instead he was climbing on top of the table laughing with glee and arching his back when I tried to get him down!

He successfully managed to cause havoc left right and centre. He also accidentally head butted another child in a small head on collision!๐Ÿ˜ต (cue a very over protective mother giving me a ‘look’ ๐Ÿ™„and rushing over to comfort said injured child).

I think he enjoyed himself thoroughly though!! ๐Ÿ˜œSame time again next week???? ๐Ÿคฃ lol

……….That’s my boy! And that’s why we call him Tornado Tom Tom ๐ŸŒช ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ˜xxx