My comedy life!!๐Ÿค—

Hello! So……here it is my first blog post. Now where do I even begin?

Ok. Lets start with my big kids Toby & Archie Both are autistic/ADHD Pre-teens and are a right handful! Loveable rogues all the same. Then there’s Tornado Tom Tom..the hectic and very cheeky 2 year old. THEN add to the mix 12 week old boy girl twins Albert & Annie (cause life just wasn’t busy enough already๐Ÿค”)! ….. and YES we do own a tv!! Lol.

I thought I’d start this blog to record the many comedy moments that happen to us! Some not funny at the time but I like to share and amuse others! I usually have a good old rant on my Facebook status and people seemed to find my musings hilarious.๐Ÿคฃ

Happy reading! Xxx



All Aboard the Autism Train

As the days go by it’s looking increasingly likely that I have a 3rd child with Autism/ADHD.

Tornado Tommy is next up to jump on! Buckle up kids you’re in for a rocky ride!

The familiar and sometimes peculiar behaviours he’s displaying is just confirming what we already suspected. We are 99% sure he is on the spectrum.

Tornado Tommy is a proper little character and yet different to the bigger boys in many ways. He is hectic & destructive and never ever sits still (just like his brothers) An average 2 year old can be crazy and hectic but it’s extreme with him.

The mahoosive explosive hour long meltdowns that come out of the blue……he’s completely non-verbal. He used to try and say a handful of words at 18months then just regressed back to zero speech โ˜น๏ธ .

Theย repetitive, obsessional behaviours.

The lashing out in temper and frustration. He hits and kicks me, quite hard (yet unmeaningly) during meltdowns. To gain my attention he might bosh me on the head with the remote a few times if he wants the channel changing. Or he might full on slap me round the chops! ๐Ÿ˜ฎIf I don’t give him my immediate attention.

My older boys never did these things! It’s pretty hard to accept your child beating the shit out of you and just having to calmly smile through gritted teeth and try to diffuse the situation before it escalates! But hey ho we just have to grin and bear it for now. It’s Soooo hard and frustrating for him and us!

Also he has started banging his head repetitively on the floor during a complete meltdown. Any hard surface he can find and his poor head gets it THUMP ๐Ÿค•. This is extremely worrying and heartbreaking to see him in such distress ๐Ÿ˜ข Poor boy!

Tommy plays alternatively lining random objects and toys up everyday. He’s more interested in the chippings at the park than using the equipment and joining in with other kids playing. To name but a few of his ways.

……..So anyway we’re on the pathway for diagnosis but it’s still too early to diagnose officially. Obviously having already been there, done that and got the t-shirt (twice) as seasoned Autism parents we kinda know what we’re dealing with already! ๐Ÿ˜œ

It is obviously is genetic somewhere along the line as 3 out of 5 are autistic so far!

I’m just hoping once the speech comes along some of his impulsive, irrational behaviours will simmer down a bit! ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป

The boy has got bucket loads of character though so I’m sure there will be a few more funny tales (not funny at the time) to tell. ๐ŸคฃWatch this space! Lol.

I obviously was not meant to have an easy life with my lot…. so I have to embrace the madness! If I didn’t I’d be locked in a padded cell, heavily sedated for the rest of my days!! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Normal is way over rated anyways!! Three of our very special boys have this label but each and everyone of them have qualities and personalities that shine above the disability.

YES they are all have their quirks and their behaviour is often unruly and off the scale BUT they are our boys and through thick and thin We will love and protect them always ๐Ÿ˜Š xxx

Don’t forget Autism Awareness day is 2nd April…. Spread the word x

Sunshine Blogger Award

Ok I’m privileged to be nominated for another award! Thank you so much Kerry at Blissful Domestication . Being that I’m new to this blogging malarkey I’m loving the opportunity to get myself out there!

The rules

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their blog.
  2. Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you.
  3. Nominate 11 blogs to receive the award and write them 11 new questions.
  4. List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or on your blog.

My answers…..

  1. You wake up on a desert island โ€“ what three things would you take with you?Food, Water, clothes
  2. Who would you have play you in a movie Miranda Hart (although I’m 5ft 2 she’s probably like 6ft)๐Ÿคฃ
  3. What was the last Text you sent? (Full text, out of context and unedited)Hurry up, the dog needs to go out for a pooh๐Ÿ’ฉ
  4. You know the world is about to end tonight, how would you spend your final day? With all my babies (plus Mr Maddog) snuggled up talking about all the memories and adventures we had.
  5. What is your biggest fear? Not being around to see my kids grow up scares the shit outta me!
  6. What makes you overwhelmed with happiness? My 5 children, their cheekiness and individual characters! ๐Ÿ˜Š
  7. You are tasked with saving the world, your partner is a character from the last thing you watched โ€“ who is helping you and will it be successful? Moana the Disney princess! Yes we’d be successful she’s a smart cookie
  8. In recent light of hate towards FRIENDS โ€“ what are your feelings on the show? I love it! I could watch re-runs over and over and it reminds me of my youth ๐Ÿ˜Š
  9. What is your dream car? VW 9 seater Caravelle (family) or a convertible mini for me!!
  10. Where you see yourself by Christmas? In the mirror!! Ha ha! ๐Ÿคฃ
  11. Why are there 11 questions? I’m not sure but it’s bugging my OCD

My nominations are:-

Answer the following pls๐Ÿ˜Š …….

  1. What superhero are you most like and why?
  2. Snog, Marry, Avoid James Corden, Phillip Schofield or Jeremy Kyle?
  3. Favourite swear word?
  4. Dinner party with 4 VIP’s (dead or alive) who do you invite and why?
  5. Favourite place in the world?
  6. How do you like your eggs?
  7. If you could play the lead in a West End show, which character would you be?
  8. What’s your guilty pleasure?
  9. If you could make one last phone call to somebody no longer with us, who would it be?
  10. Marmite Love it or Hate it?
  11. Favourite Royal

Have fun and happy reading!

Love Lynne ๐Ÿ˜˜ x


Mud, Mud Glorious Mud!

In true Madden style a simple family dog walk ends up being an unexpected mudfest, right up to our knees.

It was all going so well…. it only took us 3 hours to actually leave the house today! So we took ourselves on a little wander, just local nowhere too extravagant.

About half way round Tommy decided he didn’t want to walk any further and wanted to be carried. Picture this…. I am 5ft 2, I have the twins in the pushchair, the dog attached and Tommy precariously balanced on the handlebar with his arms wrapped around me! We got a few strange looks as I was pushing it along 2 steps at a time, as his bum kept slipping off. Great I’m gonna have to carry him home ๐Ÿ‘ So onto my child bearing hip he goes…. now carrying him is pretty challenging. He’s lanky and tall and likes to arch his back then go stiff as a board.

Just for good measure Tommy then decides to repeatedly slap my face as hard as he could, just as we walk past a calm normal family with 2.4 children. I saw them do a double take, gasp and count all the children throwing a disapproving glance our way!! YES I have 5 fucking children and a dog! Get over it! Yes I’m having a traumatic time right now! So do yourselves a favour and look away!!! (Of course I didn’t actually say this to them but sometimes wish I was that outspoken lol) Jeez some people! ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿป๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

We are 5 mins from home now but if we take a shortcut across the field it’ll take 2 mins I thought! I called to Toby up ahead “How Muddy is the field right now?” “Not muddy at all he says!” So we proceed to take the ‘short cut’. FML not only was it muddier than a farmers welly boot. We were already half way across, so no point in turning back now! If I stood still any longer I was gonna need a tow rope to pull me and the babies out of the deep muddy puddle I had rolled into!!

Now I did NOT have my wellies on … no far from it. I had my brand new, out of the box, fresh as a fucking daisy white pumps on!! ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Meanwhile Tommy had found his second wind and was happily jumping in the mud trousers and trainers soaked. Happy as a pig in shit! Literally! ๐Ÿท I don’t mind my kids getting mucky but I just want expecting it right this moment in time. Lol ๐Ÿคฃ Never mind it’s all good fun and we were only a few minutes away from home.

So we finally get home 10 minutes or so later than the bloody long way round. We go in the back gate and I start hosing down shoes and pushchair. Then turn around and there is a semi-naked toddler standing there in his coat and socks with no pants on!! Talk about a chilly willy! โ„๏ธ He thinks it’s hilarious to try and catch the water from the hose….Anyone would think it was summer… He really does not care one iota! ๐Ÿ˜ณ Maybe he’ll grow up to be a naturist! Lol

My new shoes are ruined and the pushchair is caked in what I hope is just mud and not dog shite ๐Ÿ’ฉ! Gotta laugh at myself really…

So that was our crazy little dog walk. Always a comedy moment with these kids ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ™ˆ x


Will I ever ‘nip’ anywhere again?

The more I read your blog the more I think we are so scarily alike! In fact some of your stories and words could have easily fallen right out of my mouth! As you said before I wonder ARE WE actually the same person?! Lol ๐Ÿคฃ Keep up the good work. I love your blog…. Most entertaining ๐Ÿ˜˜ xxx

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee

Remember those days when you would pick up your bag, phone and keys โ€“ and walk straight out the front door?

Are those days really gone forever the second you have kids? Weโ€™ve all seen the Michael McIntyre sketch about how long it takes to get everyone ready, and itโ€™s so true!

Having one kid means a big adjustment is needed in the art of house-leaving. Anymore than that and I literally donโ€™t know how people do it.

And donโ€™t even get me started on how people with babies manage to do the school run or get their offspring into childcare. Every single morning, when Iโ€™m still upstairs wrestling an infant into a vest at 9am, I think to myself that youโ€™re all bloody wonder women (and vow Iโ€™ll get my act together in time for Toddlerโ€™s introduction into the education system).ย 

When he was tiny I somehow got intoโ€ฆ

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Versatile Blogger Award

I have been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award by The lovely Polly @bloggerbythesea. I’m actually chuffed to bits that someone felt my musings worthy enough to share.

Please take a look at her blog ๐Ÿ˜ƒ Here<<<<<

The task is to tell you 7 things about myself, which you may or may not find amusing/interesting and then to nominate 15 bloggers to accept the award!

Right so here goes……

1) I loved every minute of being pregnant and giving birth! You’d never have guessed that with me having 5 kids lol ๐Ÿคฃ

2) I am a little bit Eccentric but I embrace this characteristic ๐Ÿ˜Š

3) I prefer a hammer and paintbrush to cooking and cleaning …. I’m definitely not a natural housewife ๐Ÿ™Š (Dirty bitch).

4) I don’t like driving but I HAVE to drive around in an 8-seater minibus. I’m like Mr Magoo (younger generation might need to google him?!)

5) I’ve been with The Husband Mr Maddog about 22 years now ….. you’d get less for murder, right?! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜˜

6) I have a very eclectic taste in music. I used to be an old Skool a raver back in the day! My dad was a DJ so I was brought up listening to various types of music. I like anything from Musicals, Motown, Take That, Spice Girls but also enjoy a bit of Green Day, Foo Fighters etc. I love Ministry of Sound and proper House Music ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿป….I’m so cool ๐Ÿ˜Ž

7) My kids are my world. Obviously I would do anything for them (as would any mother) As hectic as they might be and with all their quirks, I love each and everyone one of them dearly. ๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’–

That last ones a bit of a cop out as I was stuck for something to say!! Now that’s a rarity ๐Ÿคฃ

So on to my nominations…..Please take a look at these fantastic blogs!

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee

Gaa Gaa Land

Mum of three God Help Me

Confessions of a Multiple Mum

Kat Got Your Tongue

Holly LeggThe Baby Boat Diaries

Last Minute Mum

A Vodka Kind of Mom

But First, Tea

Cooking Without Limits

Cooking With Kids

Lucy Loves Beauty

Mum of the Tribe

The Non Adventures of a SAHM

Happy Reading !


Albertโ€™s gone commando!

As the title suggests out Albert has worked out the commando crawl! He’s been getting around the floor since about 4/5 months rolling and wiggling about. Now (almost 7 months) he’s proficiently dragging his cute little ass to wherever he wants to explore! Also up on his hands and knees rocking and kinda jumping/shoving himself forward.

He’s here, he’s there ….. he’s everywhere! Lol๐Ÿ˜ณ

Annie isn’t too far behind him either but she can’t quite get the momentum to pull herself along. Instead she gets up on her hands and knees rocks then un-gracefully falls flat on her belly ‘land-swimming’ doing a breaststroke like motion (not actually moving). Mind you, She can easily roll over and over and shimmy backwards, getting herself into some awkward spots. There’s mild panic when u step back in the room and she’s disappeared, nowhere to be seen …. then a pair of eyes peekaboo out from underneath the footstool! ๐Ÿ‘€

It suddenly dawned on me …..oh how lovely it is they are developing well and becoming more independent. However HOW the hell am I gonna manage 3 toddlers on the move!?? All heading in different directions? I guess do a quick risk assessment and go to the one in most danger first? …..tie him or her up to lamppost or pushchair and at Wonder Woman speed spin round and scoop up the other 2? Bloody hell I’m gonna have my work cut out. Tommy started walking at 9 months so if these 2 follow suit I’m in for a right treat in a couple months time!! At least I might finally get skinny? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป

I’m gonna have to try and put reins on the twins, to try and regain some sort of parental control! I’ll need one of those dog leads that splits into 2 and also one of those retractable dog leads for Tommy….so I can reel him back in as necessary! ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ™Š. In true toddler style ….He loves to drop to the ground (in the middle of a road) or refuse point blank to walk. He breaks free of my grip and bolts to jump in a random puddle he spotted 100 metres in the distance. My headstrong 2.5 year old already knows what he wants out of life ….. and woe betide anyone who gets in his way!!!

So watch this space cause I’m sure there will be a tale or two to tell in the near future. There’s never a dull moment here at The Madhouse as it is …… This will be bedlam!!! ๐Ÿคช

๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธxxx


Feeling Fugly!!!!

Warning โ€ผ๏ธ Self pity post! Boo hoo, poor me! ๐Ÿ˜ญ ……I’m Not looking for sympathy just somewhere to rant……you all know I like doing that!! ๐Ÿ˜œ

As I look in the mirror I hardly recognise the reflection staring back at me! The old haggard face I see before me looks completly and utterly done in! ๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿป Sporting a Cruella-de-Ville style hair โ€˜styleโ€™ (I say style …. scraped up in a mum bun not been washed or brushed for more than a week).

Letโ€™s call it Vintage but not in a good way…….just because at 41 Iโ€™m looking wrinkly and much, much older than my years!!!

I’m well and truly looking like a geriatric Mum at the moment! As someone said to me once “You carry on popping out kids, you’ll be collecting your pension at the same time as child benefit” ๐Ÿคฃ This is funny but also true ๐Ÿ˜ณ.

6 months in with the twins, Iโ€™m up to my neck in shitty nappies and wading through mountains and mountains washing, my kitchen currently resembles my very ownย launderette!

Don’t get me wrong I LOVE ๐Ÿ˜ being a Mum but sometimes it would be nice to be ME again!

Seriously though my backside has quadrupled in size since giving birth to the twins !! ๐Ÿ˜ณย Even though I donโ€™t sit still often. I’m always chasing the little cherubs around, keeping them out of mischief and danger. My curves are nothing whatsoever to do with the family size dairy milk bar I guzzle in one night or 3 sugars I shovel into my tea ten times a day! Oh no! ๐Ÿ™ŠI refuse to buy new more accommodating clothes for my new chunky figure as I’m hoping I will drop like 4 dress sizes in the next month or 2! Ha ha! I can dream…… only way that’ll happen is if I have my mouth sewn shut or a gastric band!

I really do miss shaking my ass at Zumba and wiggling my big child bearing hips at hula hoop class. Mind you If I go making any rash movements, jumping around, it will likely measure 8 on the Richter scale lol ๐Ÿคฃ Anyway i just don’t physically have the time or energy to participate right now!

I could also do with some serious Botox, relaxing and pampering ๐Ÿ’†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ! I’m sure a weekend away at a spa would help! Hint Hint Daddy Maddog

…..Ok so enough moaning and time to do something about it right?! Slimming World, bubble bath ๐Ÿ›, some tunes, industrial strength razor (yes I may even push the boat out and shave my legs) ๐Ÿคฃ Kids all asleep โœ”๏ธ Check …… so I take an actual bath at gone midnight but it is heaven.

I’m not into all this new year, new me bullshit resolutions but maybe I should try looking after ME as well as the brood!!

I’m currently filling up my diary for the next few months. Hopefully this will involve a few raucous nights โ€œout outโ€ ๐Ÿฅ‚๐Ÿท๐Ÿพwith the girls as well as a few coffee โ˜•๏ธ ‘moanings’ …. maybe even a date night with Big Daddy? ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜‰

I Might make myself pretty again by putting on a bit of make up (with a trowel). Maybe dye/brush my hair occasionally and dust off the straighteners.๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

After all if you don’t look after yourself you won’t be able to look after those that rely on you! Sooner or later you will crash and burn.

It’s so worth the hard work though for those sprogs of mine! ๐Ÿ˜Š

Meanwhile… I’ve eaten a whole pack of choccy hobnobs to myself whilst writing this !!๐Ÿ˜ฉ Time to get my arse in gear me thinks.

All donations to Lynneโ€™s Spa weekend/liposuction/tummy tuck/Botox fund gratefully received, thanks! ๐Ÿ˜˜xxx